Had a wonderful night out at a Keane Concert in Thetford Forest with my daughter last night, was booked well over two years ago when my partner was still alive and was cancelled until tonight because of Covid
We got talking in the car, she is my total rock and we talk about anything and everything, and I opened up a bit more about what a different person I am now since losing my partner and love of my life 18 months ago, and not in a good way …
I have such little confidence in everything I do, overthinking, insecure, indecisive and slightly paronoid about everything, whereas with Crissy I was planning so many adventures for us every weekend
Grief is still so hard every single day, but my own well being is suffering now so badly, my financial situation has changed dramatically too, my self employed work is coming to an end in August, so times are going to be really hard in a difficult year for everyone
Just feeling if she was still here life and the future would have had so much more purpose
Hi, I can understand just how you feel. Grief is hard to deal with life’s problems are still there when we could do without them. Grief also has a major impact on our health and insecurity is also down to you grieving. It’s a big package that we do not understand until it hits us. You will get through it and it will make you a strong individual but in between times we have to fight to keep going. You have already done the first hard thing, reaching out and acknowledging you have problems. From here you can think how to deal with each thing slowly but with new confidence. Coming onto the community is a big step and your confidence will grow. Reading others post will help you understand that you are not alone and will help you find your own way forward. Things will improve.
Sending blessings. S xx
Hi @LittleLegs, I think our children can be great comfort to us when our loved ones die. I don’t know how I would have coped without our children, my daughter especially as she was and still is my rock, supporting and helping with her dad the last few years before he died.
Everything about us changes when you lose your soulmate the love of your life. I can recognise everything you have said with losing confidence, feeling insecure and not being able to make decisions.
But as Susiem says you have made the first step with coming on this forum. Just take one day at a time and keep reaching out.
Sending love
Debbie X
Love your comment ‘Everything about us changes’ in light of us seeing Keane on Friday singing, appropriately, ‘Eveybody’s Changing’ from their Hopes and Fears album, they’ve been a huge support to me too as music is my life, thank you xx
It’s strange you should like Keane, I don’t really follow any group enough to go and see them, but I do love “somewhere only we know” which is going to be played at my funeral as memory to the special places Doug and I used to go. X
I answered just before work is what I should have added, I used to watch alot TV before, can’t seem to concentrate anymore and loose interest. But music I play all the time, you can loose yourself in it and no thinking is required.
I hope your job works out and you get another contract, that would be one less worry for you.
Your Crissy will always be in your heart where you go or what ever you do. X X
Little legs It’s so hard to carry on everyday without our soul mates I’m struggling without my husband it’s not getting any easier. So many plans all gone now. I see you live in the same town as me maybe we could meet up for a coffee and talk about our loved ones
I’m so sorry I haven’t replied to you but i’ve had a real Covid scare this past week, i’m literally the last one standing in my entire family as my sister went down with it on a cruise to Iceland last week and was isolated for the final five days, and with seemingly every symptom on the list I thought my time was up, but … negative, negative, negative (I did three test to make sure) just a rather nasty cold that has laid me low for the weekend
Unlike my daughter who also loved my little legs (Crissy) to bits and was like a second Mum to her, I did not receive grief counselling although at times I wish I had, haven’t actually spoken to anybody else who didn’t know her so unsure how meeting you would really go, may have to put on my big pants and grow up a little
Thanks for your words and concern, this post has helped get a but more ‘out there’ xx
Glad you are ok covids so scary. I had counselling at mind in rushden it did help to talk to a stranger. Families ok but I found I couldn’t tell them how I am feeling cause I didn’t want to burden or worry them. Give it a go there’s a long waiting list . My offer is still there if you need a shoulder. Take care and look after yourself