First post… I have managed to descend into what can only be described as domestic chaos. To the outside world and work I present as fine and coping but he truth is a very dark place indeed. I seem to not care at all and have been living in this chaos since I lost my wife. I hope this might resonate with some of you. I need to find a way to change. I work full ti e with the NHS but out with work I am just exhausted and broken
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Hi , sorry you lost your wife. I totally get what you are saying , I also manage to go to work and seem as if im coping . But my life is in such a muddle , i was once so house proud , but now think whats the point , my health seems to be failing , but to me now who cares ! I dont !
Theres always a black cloud following me about. I often think im some sort of freak , not being able to find a way forward or not wanting to find a way forward , i just want my happy life back , what i do know is impossible. I have accepted that this is my life now and had to try and adust to living this way , but that doesnt mean i like it one bit .
I must say this site has been a lifeline to me ,so many lovely kind people wanting to help , hope you find some help from it too . Xtake carex
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Hey @MartyME I’m so sorry that you lost your wife and find yourself here.
I know we all out a front on to the world as sometimes that is easier but it sounds like you really need some support.
Do you have anyone around you could confide in ?
I think recognising that you are in a dark place is the first step. And you have done that and reached out here for help - of which there is lots but perhaps you need more ?
You aren’t alone in feeling this way - this site has so many people who feel similar - hopefully that will give you comfort.
Is there support where you work ? - I also work in the nhs but in Scotland and there is staff well being services that are free to access which may be helpful.
Keep reaching out - I’m sure that things can get better but it may need a bit of work from yourself too.
Sending some strength xx