I lost the most wonderful human being whoever walked this earth just over two years ago. I still miss him each and every day and don’t seem to be able to move forward. I am not a person who normally depends on others, I am positive, outgoing and friendly and since losing my husband I have joined various activities, walking groups, gardening activities etc. however I still come home to an empty house where I want to hear his voice ‘ have you had a good day love ? ‘. I want to share our jokes, looks across a crowded room that speak volumes, Is anyone else missing someone so much that it hurts ? When does this pain ever end ?
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Exactly how I feel. Yes, it is hard and it does hurt, but we have no choice but to carry on. As for how long it lasts, I can’t tell you that as I am only 6 weeks in. All I can say is, I feel for you and for everyone like us who is hurting so much and I hope that we will all learn to cope with this terrible loss and the big hole it has left in our lives.
Stay safe and take care x
Hi Lost_soul, I am so sorry that you are hurting without your husband. I agree the pain and longing is indescribable. It’s 39 weeks tonight that life changed forever with a phone call at 10.30 from a policeman to say my husband had collapsed. When I arrived at the hospital he had not survived. he hadn’t been unwell so it was such a shock from which I have yet to emerge. It’s such a beautiful evening and all I can think of is how we used to love a walk at this time of day and will never do that again. I can’t really grasp he’s not coming back. Like you I long to hear his voice and share jokes. I wish I could say it gets easier but so far it hasn’t. you ask is anyone else missing someone else so much it hurts - I can only say yes and it’s the worst pain ever.
I wish the world were a kinder place so that you, me and so many others on this site didn’t know such pain.xx
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Dear Jobar
My partner too collapsed and had died by the time I got to the hospital. Fit, well, young, with no underlying conditions. He walked out the door one morning and never returned. It is the suddenness and shock of it which is just indescribable. But as the shock wears off and the sad, grim, desperate reality takes a hold, it gets even worse. I’m sitting in the garden looking at the sky wondering if he can see me. It feels like drowning most of the time and if you can come up for just a breath of air, grief pushes your head under the water again and down you plunge, not knowing if you’ll survive it. My heart goes out to all in this position. I honestly don’t know how the human condition can bear this pain, but I guess we must.
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Dear Becks23,
I am so sorry that you also have suffered the nightmare of your partner leaving home never to return. Comparing the aftermath to the sensation of drowning is exactly what it feels like - a constant struggle to survive and not knowing how we do. Just knowing others feel the same and that we’re not alone is probably how we bear the unbearable. Thinking of you.x
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