My dad passed away in August 2017, so it’s been 9 months and I still feel like it was yesterday. I remember everything like it was yesterday, I’ve lost track of time and I’m still caught in the moment of it all. I really didn’t expect to lose my dad so soon, I had the rest of my life to spend time with him and make memories but now it’s gone, he passed when I was 18 and I turned 19 three months after he passed away it was so difficult. I hate doing celebrations and things in life without him being here, I feel like he is missing out on so much. He passed away due to being an alcoholic and I watched him take his last breath, I was heart broken, it really has traumatised me, sometimes when I shut my eyes before I sleep all I can see is his eyes closing it’s breaking my heart. I’ve kept myself busy since he passed away and I don’t think I’ve had time to properly grieve because when I’m with my friends or busy I’m okay but when I’m not or I’m on my own I just break down. I’ve been getting really down recently and I don’t know what to do to make me feel okay again because I know I won’t get back to my normal self without him being by my side. I’m definitely not the same person I was before my life got turned upside down. Any advice on how to get myself happy will help a lot and I appreciate anyone who gets back to me.