How long will the grief last? I just can’t seem to find a way to navigate it. Everywhere there are reminders of my wonderful Mum, all the Christmas treats and decorations that she loved so much and it makes the loss and hurt even deeper. I even came across the song I picked for the video tribute at her funeral on line today and it shattered my heart again. 
. I just don’t know how to cope without her.
But I must say I do have the odd hour where the pain is a little less and I find I can manage to be “normal” for just a little while. But when I return home to an empty house, with no one there to tell where I’ve been or what I’ve been up to, it hits me again and I feel guilty for being out and about when she’s not with me. I talk to her about what I’ve done, but it hurts so much that she’s not here to answer me. I did find myself crying in the car driving home today, just gentle tears for what is now my new life without her. I loved her so much, she wasn’t just my Mum she was my best friend. It was me and her against the world and now it’s just me! I’m so lost without her.
I’m sorry to rant on, but I needed to let it all out, and here I think is a good space to do it.
Sending love and hugs to everyone in a similar situation. Take care of yourselves.
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Dear Sheena.
Sending you a heartfelt hug and my support.
I am with you with every word you have written. I lost my mum in August last year and every day has a piece of heartbreak in it. I too am alone and lost without her.
Just take one step at a time, be kind to yourself too. There is a light on the horizon but it takes a while to come closer.
Please take care, this is a safe place to come and share.
Phoebe x
Dear Phoebe
Thank you so much for your lovely reply. It means a lot. I only lost my Mum quite recently and I know it will take time to process it all and get through it, but you have given me some comfort.
Take care 
x
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Dear Sheena.
Some months after I lost mum I decided to join a craft course advertised by my local council adult education . At first thought I’m never going to be able to do this, it was pottery, but I stuck at it. There were 10 other people on the course. We all had different back stories and reasons why we had started the course and over time we shared them. We became new friends and have stayed friends too. 5 of us have gone on to do fine art o level. It helped me to gift myself a break from my grief and concentrate on something else, if just for a couple of hours. Since then I joined a yoga club, again just a couple of hours in an evening. More new friends too.
I learned as time went on, that grief is all consuming and the guilt from smiling is heavy, but I also knew that if I didn’t take some steps to be kind to myself that I would not find a way forward for the life that I was given , by mum and dad.
When you feel able, do consider something like this. I know it’s probably too soon now but do have a think about it when you are able.
Take care. X
Dear Phoebe
I have joined a small reading group at my local library, just 6 people and also I have just started a crochet class at my local mental health cafe. Just small groups and small steps for now I think.
I’m not sure about yoga - I’m not bendy enough!
I know it will take time and I’ve got some of that right now.
Take care x
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