Still struggling

Hello everyone. I hope you’re all ok and finding ways to cope.
Today has been tough. It’s nine weeks and I’m still not coping. I’ve been crying on and off since lunch time. I don’t know how to cope. Mum died suddenly and I think it could have been prevented. She must have been so scared in her final moments She had a cardiac arrest. It’s so hard. I didn’t ring her much either in her last few days so I regret that so much. We texted but still, I should have phoned.

It’s not getting easier with time. I’d say harder.


@54321 I’m so sorry for your loss. 9 weeks is still very raw. I try and not have any expectations as I grieve. I know other people have certain expectations of me though. However, the grief is mine and I will feel however I feel and for however long. There’s no expiratory date on grief. The loss is for life, so is the grief. I have no idea how I will feel hour to hour. I lost my mum on 30th April and 3 days after her funeral, my dad also passed away. I feel like I’m in a very dark place right now.
Please try and not feel guilty about not ringing your mum in the last few days…although guilt/regrets are part of this process but please try and be kind to yourself. We all need to be kinder to ourselves and each other. I hope you find lots of support on here. Sending you a big hug xx


Thank you for your kind reply. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum and dad. I hope you are getting through each day ok.
You are right - we have to feel how we need to feel. I am tired of being told how to grieve.
Sending a hug to you too x


@54321 do you have close family & friends who can support you?

Yes but support is dwindling. If that makes sense. As time goes on, people think you’re ok.

Hope you’ve got support too

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Gosh this sounds very familiar. I lost my mum suddenly to a suspected heart attack six weeks ago, I can totally relate to all those feelings of guilt and what ifs. The only solace I have and hopefully can offer you, is that I felt these exact feelings five years ago when my sister died, and gladly those feelings slowly passed.

The last six weeks have felt like the longest weeks of my life and it’s as if everyone is expecting you to just start being okay and go back to normal, but I think that’s mainly because they don’t know how to handle someone else’s grief and it makes them feel uncomfortable… Grief is a very very lonely place. Sending you love x


The loneliness is unreal isn’t it. Thank you for your message. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and sister. Lots of love to you too.
We need to look after ourselves. Take care of yourself x


Hi, I had a difficult day yesterday too. I’m lacking any real motivation beyond just the day to day chores of life. I see everyone else going about their life, visiting places, sharing experiences with friends and family but I feel so alone. Grief is so brutal, stealing energy and enthusiasm! I don’t know how we bring any joy back into our lives…:cry::broken_heart:

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Sorry to hear you had a difficult day. That’s how I feel too. I took the kids to the park today and ended up sobbing to my friend. It’s awful. The loneliness is unreal. I miss my mum so much. It’s heartbreaking.

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