It’s up n down with Myeloma Cancer like a lot of cancers. It’s not aggressive as some cancers. But it’s still there and whilst it treatable there’s no cure. So you always got that hanging over you. It can be emotional especially going through it alone, Cancer is horrible + combined with losing a mum too. It’s just hangs around you and keeps getting in the way of a normal life.
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I really hope you get the first and go into long term remission. It’s a difficult mind game to deal with and you have had such a lot on your plate. Also the wait for the stem cell transplant must be really hard. Thinking of you and wishing all the best.
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That’s very kind thank you. I’ve been off this discussion thread for quite a while. Just thought I’d check back in. I’ve not been at all good mentally. I have stuff I should be doing but I just don’t care anymore.
Hi Malcolm . I just checked back on here to see if there were still some familiar names. I see Magsclar and Keith are still posting. How are you?
Not good today as I had my pre Stem cell meeting. Was suppose to go into hospital 3rd December for my Stem Cell Transplant. After being told about a 2,3 percent risk of death and catching a infection which could put me into critical care. Obviously I’ve not consented to anything today and need more time to think.
@Wanderers100 its so good to hear from you! I’m sorry that you haven’t been feeling up to doing things, it’s a long hard process. I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression but I am getting support from my GP and Maggie’s. I hope you feel up to getting some support too xx
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Hi @Wanderers100, sorry to hear you are having difficult times. Is there anyone you can talk to, or groups you could go to? I am ok thanks, but have been dreaming a lot about my mum recently. It’s been a bit upsetting in that she’s alive but I’m losing her, but I think it’s my brain sorting things out and trying to make sense of things. I think it isn’t a linear way of accepting death, sometimes you are up and sometimes back down. Are you able to work or do any hobbies / meet people at all? Xx
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Maggie’s ?
I’m going to meditation classes and they are running bereavement groups from February. I will be able to meet people who have also lost parents. There is a cancer specialist that I have been talking to as well, they are making sure I am looking after myself
Are you at risk of cancer ? I think everyone is at risk of cancer. Because all your scientist politicians do not have a clue and never will have. We all are made of cells, I presume cells die in time and the body produces new cells. At any time those cells can turn cancerous. Mum told me this once but I not sure I believed her, I do now. Because this is what has happened to me. It’s good to hear that you may have the chance to attend bereavement classes with your loss of your mum. I think we all could do with that. I thought I was turning a corner and coming to terms with being alone, today as set me back and depressed me. To see people going through their business in the city centre made me think how lucky they are that they can go around their business and have not to worry about the prospect of death. My thinking is making me more alienated to the real world and isolating me even more. I think it gets to the point where you think, screw it take me. Myeloma already has made my life a misery this year that and losing mum
Sorry my mum died in hospital they killed her it was horrible I could not get her home
Maggie’s are there to support the loved ones of those who have or have died of cancer. It’s a safe space for me to go to so I can talk. Sorry you are having a bad time, you must look at your stem cell transplant as there being a 97% chance that you will be ok. With any treatment there is always a risk as nothing is 100% risk free
I feel similarly but we entrusted our lived ones to the hospitals. She had previously received good care from them. We do our best to support our loved ones and make sure they are cared for xx
I think it was a shock to me yesterday, no 1 really wants to hear news like that. Because it’s been kind of a easy ride so far, maybe I been cruising through it all in my comfort zone. Maybe yesterday was a nasty wake up call ? I don’t think none of us want to face up to the risk of death. Mum was the same if anyone spoke to her about her demise she would say I want to think about living. Her daughter upset her about those conversations. That was why there was so much work to be done when mum eventually did pass. Mum had put no preparations in place so it was all left to me. I’m finding all this very depressing, if WW3 breaks out then so be it. I don’t care no more!
I’m sorry, that is a hard balance to strike between being optimistic but practical. I get it’s really hard.
I don’t think any of this is helping me now. It almost feels like yea what’s the point ? it’s starting to wear me down. If I had a NDE and mum appeared to me I would go with her and never would want to come back. I had enough!
Youre feeling like that because you have had such a lot to go through. It doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t ever feel better. That is still possible to aim for. X
Struggling to find the benefits at the moment. Feel like I had enough.
@Keith68 hi I do agree with @Magsclar, sorry for just jumping in but life won’t always be like this, I hope when you get this all behind you, you can find something to make you happy. I’m sure your mum wouldn’t want to see you sad, that’s what keeps me going knowing they all wouldn’t want me being sad, even when I’ve had enough too
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You alright, it’s not a private chat
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