Two years on from my husband suddenly dying after 40 years together, I find myself talking to him and I know his reply which makes me smile. Sometimes when I’m walking a familiar walk I can imagine holding hands and it brings me a calmness, while still crying. But it’s less intense, I can now breathe.
As for moving on, that feels like a black hole. We did everything together. No outside friends to talk of.
My daughter is amazing 
she encouraged me to go on a cruise with her. I have met and talked to people, tasted food from around the world and seen some amazing sights. I’m still the shy person I’ve always been but I’m hoping to start living my own life slowly, whatever that means. Meeting up with people is hard, especially if they ask about my husband.
Hello @AuntieNettie59,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
@AuntieNettie59 hi there. Sorry to hear of your loss. I am 57 and my husband died 9 weeks ago, also 57. We to, didn’t have outside friends. Quite happy in our own company. Me reading, him watching some trashy tv. But we were happy. Every minute away from him was a waste of time, in my book. He made life funny, interesting and surprising. I speak to him now he has gone. Even though he can’t answer me. I feel some days he is with me. I imagine him walking next to me. I have his ashes on the sofa so we can sit together and I take him upstairs to bed every night. I am trying to get on with things. Work, I go out to lunch with friends when they ask. And I smile for a while. But there is always that empty house to come home too. I didn’t realise that someone who was only 5”6” and 10 stone. Could leave such a massive hole.
I lost my wife nearly three years ago but I talk to her all the time. Every evening I go to where I keep her rememberance Rainbow Bridge to check in and say goodnight. It might look crazy to someone else but it feels right to me