Hi Everyone
I didnt think I would need to post again as its now 22 mths since losing John so suddenly but life is still so difficult and lonely and sad.
Do everything I should, groups, friends, going out on my own and even booked a solo holiday for the end of Sept but why when I dont enjoy anything, just do it because it is suppose to help and get you through the never ending pain and hurt which never seems to ease.
I miss everything we did together that I now cant do on my own.
I am a positive person but this life is awful and I hate it so much and now have very negative and why carry on thoughts most days.
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Hi @Shelley50
I’m so sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment but I hear you say it’s less than 2 years since you lost your husband.
I’m only 5 months in so not really sure about the whole timescale thing, but I’ve read lots about healing being very different for everyone and I did read one reflection which retold that at 3 years they only just started to feel like their feet were at last landing on the ground.
Many people say the 2nd year is harder but I think it is just different for everyone and there seems to be no right or wrong way to do this.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things but at the moment that’s not helping. Would having some time alone help, or to chat through your feelings with a friend or counsellor ? Or perhaps your GP ?
I’m sure there are others here who have more experience than me around this but please don’t give up hope. I think this grief is a work in progress with lots of ebbs and flows.
Keep posting here - lots of support and kindness is on offer no matter how long since your loss.
Take care of yourself xx
22 months is no time at all after 38 years together. 
And as is often said there is no timescales on Grief. Like a tree with a big hole in its trunk, the branches still grow but the big hole remains.
If you haven’t already speak with your GP, or look at getting some bereavement counselling.
I understand the lack of enjoyment out of social activities. My Dad’s and my love was watching Rugby Union together. I actually attended my first matches since he passed this last year and yes there was some sad moments but also on reflection some enjoyable moments.
Watching Rugby like your social engagements and hobbies will never be the same again but meeting friends, creating new ones and sharing happy and sad memories and creating new ones are so important!
Well done on booking the holiday and I really hope it helps.
The community is here for you.
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