Still Yearning

I had lunch today with the groom’s mother. I explained why I didn’t go back to the evening party because I felt she deserved the truth and she is one who can be very understanding. Well, I had a complete melt down. Not sure where it came from as I get through most days now without shedding a tear. I felt better for telling her though. She’s a very dear friend, we laugh together and we cry together. It just goes to show though - even when we think we’re strong and doing ok, there’s something that can just floor us.

That was so good that you got an early opportunity to put the record straight, and so good that you felt able to give a truthful explanation. I would imagine she had worked it out if she knows you that well but best coming from you. Hopefully you get a good night’s sleep tonight with no lasting internal dialogue.

Thanks YorkshireLad, yes my friend had worked it out and was very understanding.

We were a couple and now we’re half of a whole,everything is unbearably difficult,love to you all ,Corinna xxx

This is my first Easter without my lovely George and if there is a God hopefully my last. I think the lovely weather has made my day unbearable. Lots of couples and families out enjoying themselves. This time last year I had no idea what was round the corner. I had 4 people living in my house, George, myself and our 2 children. Both children have now left home (well most of the time anyway) and George has died so it is just me. I try so hard to be strong and soldier on but today just has slapped me in the face showing me how much my life has changed and I have lost. I don’t think I can possibly face another day like today, I just miss him so much xx

I couldn’t agree more.
I’ve been really struggling since mother’s day just watching the pain on my kids faces their first Mother’s Day without their mum.
Then my wedding anniversary this week and now Easter.
Like you I’ve went from 5 in the house to just me in 10 horrible months.
I thought I was strong but this is really testing me to the limits.
Can’t take an awful lot more.
Take care

So sorry you’re having a crap weekend,I went for a long walk with the dogs,they are all snoring now so it’s G&T time for me.Hope you have a glass of fizz,I can’t say anything to make you feel better but I understand and I am thinking of you,loads of love,Corinna xx

Dear Debra

I felt so sad when I read your post. I find this weather unbearable too. I’ve been out with friends this afternoon and we went to a cafe I used to go to with my mother who died nearly 5 years ago. (I didn’t like to say I didn’t want to go). I haven’t been back there since she died (avoidance) and this wave of pain hit me. I’m going through agony since my partner’s death 14 weeks ago without this as well! The sunshine made it so much worse.

I live in a seaside resort and I have just returned from a 5 minute walk to the local supermarket. The village was packed. There are many pubs and restaurants and there were lots of couples sitting outside in the sun drinking wine and having meals. How I would have loved the skies to open!

It resonated too when you said about the thought of another day the same as being unbearable. I was like that on Sunday. Nothing will take the pain away but you are not on your own with these wretched feelings. Love xxxx

I know it’s bad,and I always used to love the summer and the light nights,but I want it to be dark,so I can go to my bed.Feeling for everyone in the same

Just had to pop to the local shop for a few bits,I had been hibernating at home today with my animals,going out was a huge mistake,like you said seeing all the couples out enjoying the sunshine,and I know it’s hardly their fault but I have such a heavy pain inside now like a brick inside me,just the thought that Roy and I will never be out together again enjoying the sunshine or indeed anything,it’s unbearable.Thinking of you all and wondering how your days are going,much love everyone,Corinna xxx

Up and down,but to be honest mostly down.Tonight isn’t great but,let’s see what tomorrow brings,I think we just have to ride it out.I had some good days last week so hang in there,it’s tough,really,really tough,but everyone on this site understands the pain,thinking of you and everyone xx

So so sorry for your loss same here would have been my 18th without my soulmate of seventeen years take care