Has anyone else found their relationship deteriorated with their remaining parent after your loss?
I am just over 5 months into grieving the loss of my Mum, and my relationship with my Dad is just so tense.
The relationship has always been complex with him being emotionally abusive and I didn’t necessarily expect him to step up and take over Mum’s loving role as a parent but he is being hurtful with his behaviour.
It feels like our griefs are battling each other and whilst I’m willing to try and see the other perspective, he is not. I am having to be the adult in the relationship and I feel in some ways I’m dealing with the loss of both parents.
I’m having to set boundaries and he is acting out as a result, but the people around me are making me feel guilty because he’s lonely now and he’s having a really hard time which of course I get.
Thanks for sharing this with us I’m giving your thread a little bump as can see you posted in the early hours when it’s quieter. Hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts.
Hi @stardust2023, I can understand where you are coming from and when I lost my mom, I experienced similar emotions. My grief went into serious self blaming towards him, in my case he acted as if nothing changes because I took all of my mom’s responsiblity and he took his time to distract himself and our relationship grew worse. I used to cry for hours and no one to help but then came a time that he understood what I am going through and he has been helpful since. It takes time and we are now 8 months into grief, change is difficult for everyone. I was very hurtful in my behaviour and grief does this to individual but take care of yourself first . Is it possible for you to talk to someone in your family and take help who can talk to your dad
I struggle with this my dad wasn’t very nice to my family growing up I haven’t rlly got on w my dad from when I was a teenager. When my mum passed my dad wanted to do loads of stuff he tidied the house up changed stuff wanted to throw some of mums stuff away literally in the week she passed I know everyone grieves differently but it’s so hard living in the same house when all I wanted to do was nothing and try process it. He does nice stuff every now and then but it never makes up for everything else he has done. My mum used to stick up for me but now I only have my older sister wich she does for me but most time she’s working. I still think to tell my mum this stuff but then realise she isn’t here. It’s so hard
I’m giving your thread a little bump as can see you posted in the early hours when it’s quieter. Hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts.