I’m not sure if this is a thing? Is it a thing? My mum died in November and it’s taken until now for me to react. I’m not sure I’m reacting in the right way. I’m behaving strangely. I know I’m behaving strangely because 9 years ago I lost my Dad and I was strange then. I lost my mother in law just 7 weeks before that and was supporting both my husband and then my mum through a very difficult time without any thought for myself. My dad was only 62 and both deaths were very sudden and unexpected. My mum had a very short battle with cancer and I lost her in November. I am a very strong person. I have only cried twice. But my behaviour is odd. In March I lost my grandmother and did not grieve, in May my mums dog which we’d taken on had a huge stroke and was put to sleep. That did make me cry, a lot. My behaviour is erratic, I get angry about silly things, I can be vile to my husband for no reason. I don’t like myself because of this and it is not me, this is how I was months after my dad died and I’m scared because I don’t want to be a monster. To put this all into perspective we have lost 3 parents, 3 grandparents, 2 uncles and the four legged in 9 years. I am 46.
I wonder if I need some sort of counselling? Am I broken or stupid or just a horrible person?
Oh @Hammy you have had a lot of loss in a relatively short period of time and when you are so young.
You are grieving and that has an impact on how we process everything and so how we behave. We all display our grief in different ways but it sounds like it might help to talk to someone who can help you make sense
Of all that has happened. You certainly are not a monster.
Look after yourself and be kind to yourself- and maybe share how you feel with your husband if you haven’t already. Lean in those around you for support - and keep posting in here if it helps. Lots of understanding and compassion from people who really understand
Xx
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