This morning I was sat in the garden drinking my cuppa and a formation of geese went over, it overwhelmed me and I could not stop crying for a long time. Last year me and my David had been watching 100s of geese coming in from Canada and Alaska to stay here for the winter, last year it was lovely to see…this year it is lonely and too sad.
I think one day I will be able to watch and listen to them honking without weeping but for now it is too painful. X
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Hi @penny6 ,
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us. I can imagine how beautiful yet overwhelming this was. Keep reaching out,
Alex
I’ve just emptied my hubby’s bedside drawers,got rid of socks and underwear(gave son his retirement watch and cufflinks),that has set me off,then made the mistake of looking in his wardrobe,that set me off,cannot do his wardrobe at the minute.
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After 10 months, I still haven’t moved anything of N’s.
It’s still his home, and I’m not ready to change anything…
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Well I have been into his things. I have been using them.
I enjoy using his things. They re part of him. When using his clippers think if him.
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I feel the same I keep smelling his cloths I’m so sad
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When I feel really low, I spray his aftershave on the pillow 
Good idea thank you
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It’s awful feeling like this,in our heads we know they aren’t coming back,but our hearts won’t let us move on,we want to believe they will walk through the door.
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Our son has a couple of his t shirts,plus some pj bottoms,which he wears.
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I’m trying to pack for a holiday that N should have taken last September…he was too poorly to go and the company agreed to roll it over for me to go instead.
This is by far the hardest thing I’ve done so far…
I’m okay one minute, and in bits the next. It’s taken seven days to pack, sort out dive kit, cameras, papers…
It feels like a one man expedition rather than a fun holiday!
Do it in memory of the person you lost.Prove to yourself you can do this.Have a lovely time as best you can.
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How did the holiday go? I find getting ready to go on holiday stressful since my husband died. I still do it because although the holiday is not great in many ways not going feels so samey.
There are a few highlights. Like meeting a nice other person by accident by and by.
Just a nice interlude in a lonely feeling.
Another lady on her own gave me her recycled magazines which was a highlight.
Seems sad that I build that up when before wouldnt even remember.
@Enorac I’d gone with a friend of N’s. We were on a diving liveaboard trip, so it was a busy week, surrounded by people with the same interests. I shared a cabin with a girl I didn’t know, but i explained my situation and she was very kind and understanding.
Some of the week was tough, there were times I know N would have loved to have been there, and I missed him so much but there were other moments when I was happy to be with like minded people, doing something we both loved doing.
He’d never want me to stop enjoying my hobby.
I agrre the packing is stressful… we had a list, which I still use but evey time I look at it, most of the stuff I took were emergency things to make sure he’d be ok, whatever happened.Even though my life has changes a lot in the past few months, the list stays unchanged as a reminder.
I’m coming up for my 4th holiday which I’ll be sharing with my new partner, who lost his wife some time ago. I’m sure we’ll both have memories reaching back to previous holidays, but we both know life can be so short and so very cruel that we’re both determined to make the most of it.
Carry on with your holidays, take joy from the smallest moments, the times when people are kind, when something stirs a memory, when you see something new that makes you smile.
It will always be hard, but there will always be some happiness too xx
That is wonderful that you have found a new partner and that would help. I think you must be younger than I am. Twenty years ago I could do what you have done physically but I don’t have the same capabilities now. I sing in the choir which helped. I used to enjoy riding my cycle but my GP advised me against that now. A fall would be difficult now to bounce back from like when I was fitter. My balance isn’t so good and yes I did do strengthening exercises.
Yes in my mind i see my Ronnie crystal clear walking through the door i see his shoes his jeans his shirt his beautiful smile his voice, this is so unbelievably difficult its only been 3 weeks, we were an item for 30+ years.
Rest in peace Ronnie my love 
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same as i see scratches on my back that my Syd the little Jack made. I’m helping my parents both late 80’s & i rekon i’ll be in similar situation as you.. All the best 