Struggle to cope on nights

Lost husband 3 days ago suddenly. and can’t seem to cope especially on a night there are so hard. keep looking at the floor where the parmedics tried so hard to save his life he was only 48 so trying to find answers to why as never complained of any illness or pain . I just feel like my minds going to explored with everything going round it all the time got appointment with Dr on Friday so hopefully they will be able to help me in someway he was watching TV one minute next minute he was gone. I feel so scared and empty .


Hi Sandie,

I am so sorry to hear your story. I am only a few weeks ahead of you. I remember how hard it was to eat in the first week, anything, but then was grateful it made me so tired in the evening I collapsed into bed, not that I’m suggesting that.

I hope you have the support and care around you in these early days.

Merrin x

Thankyou yes got support but not dealing to well with accepting the help at the minute also thankyou for your reply x

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Hi Sandie. Those early days are horrific when your memory of your husband passing is so vivid. I remember re living the memory of my husband when I saw him in the funeral parlour. He looked so thin and ten years older than he was. I couldn’t get it out of my head. You will never forget your husband but please believe me that the terrible memory of him passing will get less raw. It is 2 and and a half years now for me and I think of Ron every day but it does not overwhelm me in the same way. I still have meltdowns and I cry but what I am trying to say is that I can now include other things in my life. There will always be a hole in my heart but as time passes there is a little light. I hope that it will get easier for you too. My thoughts are with you. X


Thankyou x

Hi Sandie
I’m 3 weeks since my husband Paul died same as you he was up at 5.30 as he couldn’t sleep. Got up to check he was watching tv with the cat. He came back to bed and next thing on the floor massive stroke unconscious and within an hour was told he was going to die. Still see him on the floor paramedics stuff everywhere and feel sick. I’ve called the doctor today waiting for call back. I sit up watching tv until late go to bed wake again put radio on. Feel wretched. I just can’t take it all in get up shower and mooch around the house. Cards still arriving even now. Today I have to pick photos for the funeral

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It’s really horrible isn’t it moo . I don’t think anyone will understand unless there experience it I’m now on day five and can’t its been five days since I seen him or spoken to him I hope your OK the best way you can be xx

I know how you feel, Dave went for a lie down and never woke up, i found him when i went to wake him. I still go to talk to him and glance out the corner of my eye i can still see him in his wheelchair. Ive tried to keep busy but my health wont let me do much so night times for me are long. He passed last october so since we have had xmas, my birthday and lockdown, so it must get easier so i thought but in a few weeks it would of been his bday, so back i go again. Its unfair they were taken to early.

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Thoughts are with you saphire x

Hi Sandie
The doctor just called she has prescribed some sleeping tabs short term I’ll let you know how I get on. I cried down the phone to her.

Aww really glad your getting help you need and hope the tablets work take care xxx

Hi Sandue,

I am in 9 months. I lost my husband a Friday morning trying to give me a cuddle and could not manage, sudden heart attack. He has gone in front of me. I still can not believe how and why it happened. When you are so young and fit. So life took him from us when he was only 39. Still can not get over it, can not sleep, guilty, angry etc…

Hi Nuran I’m now into day 6 and I think it’s really just starting to hit me now I’m scared of the furture without him hope your slowly doing OK lifes cruel x

sorry to hear of your loss the same experience happened to me one minute we were having dinner an hour later my partner was sitting by the back door he said he was having a panic attack our son phoned for an ambulance he was clenching his fists and shaking he collasped to the floor we were given instructions on the phone to give him cpr the paramedics arrived very quickly they tried really hard to save him but he wasnt responding i knew deep down i had lost him i am finding it really hard at nightime i just cant cope its been 5 weeks now yet its feels like yesterday


My thoughts are with you and your family. Dave wasnt ill either just went for a nap, didnt wake up. I think if he had been ill your prepared for it but as sudden as ours, its hard to except. In the times of lockdown its harder as well as you cant see people. I do find talking on here helps, it does make you feel what you are feeling is normal. X

thankyou for replying i am just taking each day as it comes i feel very losed at the moment the thought of bedtime makes me feel worst i just hate going to bed i stay up till im exhausted x

That’s exactly how I feel right now stay up late then go to bed wake at 4 put the radio on cat nap until about 8. Get up shower…it’s like Groundhog Day. I did get some sleeping tablets took a couple but I don’t want to rely on them. It’s Paul’s funeral on Thursday I’m dreading it my stomach is in knots at the thought of it all. This heartache inside is all consuming how do we get through it? Sending hugs to you all x

I know how you feel, Dave died in his sleep and for about 6 weeks i was scared of going to sleep. I had no one to talk to about it as i found if i said it out loud it sounded stupid but it eat me up at night. I find it easier if i dont fight it go to bed but watch tele or read at least, as my mother used to say, your resting. Really it does help. Hugs to you x

hi moo you will get through the funeral on thursday i had to go through my partners funeral 2 weeks ago i can honestly say it is a blur to me im sure his spirit was by the side of me in the church i had comfort in thinking that i hope you will find comfort to

Hi ,
I lost my partner unexpectedly due to covid.
The anguish is awful and I have developed anxiety attacks.
After 6 weeks I phoned the doctor,who was extremely supportive and prescribed me something to help.
It doesn’t take away the hurt and longing for your life that you had together but it helps you slow down and relax