Struggles

My mum had a stroke in 2021 and was unable do anything for herself, she was also unable to speak. My dad did a grand job of looking after her at home for a few months but it took a toll on him and we had to look at residential care. In June 2022 we got her settled into a care home. My dad didnt cope very well without her, they had been married for 60 years and were childhood sweethearts. Although myself and my brother did all we could for him he kind of gave up. In November 2022 he took a tumble at home and cut his arm, we had to call an ambulance and he was admitted to hospital. After attending his wound they admitted him for further tests and was told he had prostate cancer which had spread to his bones and there was nothing they could do…we had no idea and shocked to the core. Two weeks later he died. Telling our mum was the hardest thing to do and she was devastated. Her heart was broken and she too gave up. We tried to rally her, she welcomed her first great grandchild in 2023 but you could see she’d had enough and she fell ill. In May 2024 she peacefully passed away with me and brother by her side. We now have the huge challenge of sorting out her estate and selling the family house to pay for her care. Sorry for the long story, but personally it all doesnt seem real. I’ve not had the chance to come to terms with what’s happened as I’ve been so busy sorting everything out. I’m guessing once everything is finalised it will probably hit me, but until then every day seems like I’m on auto pilot. Dont get me wrong, I think of my parents every single day, and I miss them terribly but I just seem to be in limbo. All i want to do is absolutely nothing, I have no joy and no purpose. I know I will learn to cope but until then I carry on and deal with each day as it comes.

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I’m so sorry for your losses @Sally22

There’s nothing I can say to ease your burden. But please be sure on this site everyone will understand, we’re all in the same boat, at different stages but all still grieving.
There is always someone ready to listen and support you.

Sending love and a big hug

Liz x x

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