I thought I was doing so well … I am surrounded by a fabulous support network. I go out. - I laugh - I interact- I’m a trooper!
But - when I get home I’m a mess - I can’t talk to anyone as my nearest and precious dearest have their own issues to deal with, so I cannot burden them.
I cannot stop crying - I’m so sorry to anyone following this same path behind me - as I really thought that surviving the first year was the ‘real’ test. I really thought I was doing well … appears I’m not
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Im the same . I go out very rarely now as hate coming back to a empty house . Im not worried about maybe a burglar being in the house when i get home because i know he would come worse off ! I still 4 yrs laterr have so much anger and rage he wouldn’t know what he let himself in for. I do have lovely lifelong friends but dont want to bother them.
We all have stuff going on in our lives that people dont know about . Not much help but know your not alone
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@Joolesmck & @marie51
Good place to key off steam here I think.
Sending you love from someone 12 months in.
Hugs
Karen xxx
Thank you Karen- sending you many hugs - this is a horrible journey x
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Sending you so many hugs x is it time perhaps to speak to a professional? It terrifies me that in years to come I’m still in this state … I want to embrace this grief in a way … this is the unexpressed love … I hope it stays with me as a companion… keeping me company … not haunting me