Hello, I’ve joined this forum after reading a really helpful article on the website.
I’ll apologise now for the inevitable waffling but I was hoping to maybe get some advice from people, talk to people and hopefully be able to make some sense of what is going on for me personally.
I’m 23 and have always had an incredibly close relationship with my nan, even from a very early age (I’m blessed I know).
In the past year she has dramatically gone downhill whereby she was in a care home for those with dementia and was in and out of hospital for a variety of infections. Before then she was still driving me to the fish and chip shop for us to get lunch! There’s the brief background…
She’s 90 and 5 weeks ago she had a hip operation after fracturing it. She was also found to have scabies, pneumonia and her kidneys are failing. She hasn’t walked since that operation and has deteriorated for the past 4 weeks. She has a catheter and tubes to feed her etc and her veins are collapsing because of the amount of needles the hospital are having to put in her to try and help her. The last time I went to visit I got very upset, this was about 4 weeks ago. I got so upset because the lady looking back at me didn’t know who I was and certainly wouldn’t want to be being looked after and in the state she is in (she is such an independent and strong lady) and just did not look like my nan.
Today my Dad and Auntie went to the hospital as per the doctor’s request to make ‘life changing decisions’ (they have lasting power of attorney)… I don’t know the ins and outs of the conversation but I have the opportunity as it were on Saturday to go to the hospital to go and say goodbye.
I was wondering if anyone could please help me come to terms with what I’ve been told today and if there is any advice about saying goodbye? I definitely want to go as I think it’s the least I could do for all the times she’s helped me, supported me and been there for me.
I’m really struggling and feel heartbroken and don’t know what to say to her given it will be my last chance.
I hope all of this makes sense and thank you very much for taking the time to read what I’ve written when there are so many different stories on here with everybody’s individual pain. I am so so lost.