Im not coping at all without my best friend my Mum. For nearly a year i saw and cared for my mum everyday, living with mum for the last 10weeks.
I dont want to be here at all. Im just waking and hating because im awake, im scared as i dont know what to do.
3 Likes
I know how you feel as i lost my mum 2 yrs ago September its the 2nd anniversary of her death . My mind is going round in circles with mixed feeling’s hate suicidal thoughts just because i want to be with my mum thrn i have my dad and brother to think about as my dad still struggles with it and hes on his own so i understand what your going through and if you need me im just here 
2 Likes
Hi Shadow71,
I’m sorry for your loss.
Losing a parent, especially one that you are very close to is completley debilitating. I’m not sure when you lost your mum but feeling like you don’t want to be here and feeling sad, angry and everything inbetween seems to be part of the grieving process. I have felt all of these emotions at various points since losing my dad.
My dad died nearly ten months ago and it’s completley devestating. I adore my dad and I saw both him and my mum everyday. I also cared for my dad for the 8 weeks we had from the cancer diagnosis to his death. When he died the void and shock I felt and to some extent still feel is unmatched. I didn’t see how it was possible to keep going.
There is no right way to feel and sitting with the grief is extremely uncomfortable. I have found that to some extent the grief almost becomes more manageable which I didn’t think possible at first. You miss them everyday and when the sadness hits it can knock you off your feet but there are periods in-between where it doesn’t feel as raw. I try to just focus on getting through the day.
Hopefully you have a good support system. I have found the grief quite isolating but this site is helpful as people are going through similar emotions.
Xx
2 Likes
Hi Shadow71,
Same here.I looked after mum for months before she passed.The pain is awful now with grief.
In the beginning the grief is so raw and nothing can help. Try to eat and sleep. Do the bare minimum.Just survive ok. Take small steps each day and put yourself first.
I am 8 MTHS in with my grief and it’s only now that the rawness of it all has eased and the awful constant crying and feelings of having panic attacks. It leaves a strange feeling of emptiness and numbness which I am trying to navigate through. The pain is never far away and the slightest thing triggers everything.
Keep posting as you are among people who truly understand.Ufcit hadn’t been for this site I going know where I would be.It has saved my life.
Keep going and keep posting ok
Big hugs
Deborah x
3 Likes