Struggling to Cope with Death of my Husband

My husband died 8 weeks ago after a two year battle with bowel cancer. I find have developed a lot of physical problems, I feel cold all the time and very tired has anyone else had these kind of symptoms.

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Hi Annabelle, I’m so sorry about the death of your husband, I certainly developed strange symptoms after his death, I think that while we were focusing on our loved one, we had to keep strong for them, and once they’ve gone, you start to relax and then you start experiencing strange symptoms, which is awful and worrying, but in my experience it does get better over time, I did get some alternative therapies which did help me, like massages and reflexology, hope you start to feel better soon, love Jude xx

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Thanks Jude you are so right I spent a long time nursing my husband which took up all my time now I am at a loss I think I will try some alternative therapies
Love Annabellex

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They certainly helped me, in particular Indian head massage xx

Sorry for your loss
I understand how you feel
I lost my husband of 45 years 15 months ago
I have become a total obsessed with illness every day I imagine I have something wrong I think it’s because I worried about him so much and now focus on myself
I’m trying to find positive things to do every day like swimming it helps so much to concentrate on my breathing and live in the moment

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I know I am the same my husband and I were married for 52 years . I feel so exhausted and cold all the time but my temperature reads normal. My husband died from bowel cancer he was at home until the last three days of his life he had to go into hospital because his heart was failing the last three months were really hard I looked after him 24/7. I thought I had a UTI although it was negative for infection. Just feel so low.

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@Annabelle may be worth you taking some multivitamins with iron. After my partner died I didn’t eat properly, and hardly ate at all in the initial stages. Started feeling really unwell, developed scary physical problems, and, as you say, exhausted. A blood test showed that my iron levels had plummeted. The GP prescribed a strong course of iron tablets, and since then several days of the week I take multivitamins with iron. Still tired from the trauma and emotions, but not exhausted like I was. I eat now, but probably not as healthily as I should. For my can’t be bothered times I have egg on toast, sometimes with a bit of spinach. You have had a hard time, and it has taken a toll on your body and mind. When you have cared for a loved one like you have it is all too easy to neglect your own needs and self care. Please rest up a bit now, some things need to be dealt with, but others can wait until you feel stronger. X

Thank you Wong for your very helpful post I think I will book a blood test with my Dr. to check my iron levels. xx

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Dear Annabelle

So sorry for your loss.

My husband died suddenly in September. The first few months I was always cold and sat every evening with a blanket wrapped round me. Things improved but occasionally still experience the coldness - it is a feeling that extends right to the core. I always took iron tablets and multi-vitamins so am continuing, probably because I stopped eating properly. Lost 1.5 stone.

I have subsequently developed illnesses related to stress - psoriasis being the main one and find it quite debilitating. My stress levels tend to effect my levels of tiredness but not really slept very well after loosing my husband.

Take care.

Hi Sheila 26
Thanks feel stressed all the time sleeping is hard its helped me to know that the cold feeling seems to be the shock of losing a dearly loved husband/partner helpful to know it can be a normal responsexx

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Dear Annabelle,
I’m so so sorry for your loss. I lost my partner to cancer on February the 7th. From initial symptoms to his passing was just 3 weeks. It was such a shock. I was strong for him but as soon as he died I lost it. The physical symptoms are as debilitating as the emotional ones. Only sleeping 2 hours a night, shaking , cold sweats, really bad anxiety which only stops towards the end of the evening. So many of us on this site will tell you the same thing. I hope things improve for you.
Take care xx

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Thank you Elfy
It must have been terrible for you I at least had two years from diagnosis until my husbands death the last two months were very hard grief is just so delibitating xx

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