Struggling to cope

It’s been nearly 4 weeks since I lost my partner and father to our 4 young children (between ages 3 and 10) I know it’s very early days but I’m just struggling so much to manage every day things I don’t want to do anything at all I just can’t see a way out. I don’t know how I’m supposed to cope on my own with all of these children they are about the only thing getting me out of bed. I just can’t get my head around him being gone it’s just so unfair he was 42 with a young family fit and healthy and worked out 5 times a week he didn’t drink or smoke I cannot understand why he had to get cancer and suffer. I’m 32 and now essentially a widow and single parent. Any advice on ways to try and cope? Please tell me the pain gets easier to live with? Utterly broken.


I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t say there is a magic wand. I looked for it trying quick fixes like hypnosis and counselling. Allow yourself to cry whenever you need to. It painful it’s hard but at some point the pain will lessen. Grief takes time and you cannot rush it. I was on autopilot for three months and then the sudden enormity hit me and a fell apart. Take all the help from friends and family if you can. They will get you through very difficult times. Eventually the pain is less. You’ll have good days and bad days.but you will cope. You have to. You will never forget your love Talk to him as if he is still here. I found it helps a little I found mornings the worst when you wake and feel ok until the realisation of what has happened hits you. Take each day minute by minute then hour by hour. It’s the only way to cope. I’m here if you need to chat x


Sorry for your sudden loss and so young. Life is very unfair . You have your young children which will be a great comfort in the months ahead. I’m 6 months into my journey and for me it’s got worse I’m dreading waking up in the mornings and having to face another day on my own we had no family so its just me and 2 dogs. Try to keep busy and keep posting on here we are all in same boat so know what you are going though. Take care x

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Dear Izabelle

I can only imagine your pain. My kids are adults and I know the impact of their dad’s death on them and their families. I am hoping that your older children are being offered some support from their respective schools, if not then please speak to the headteacher and ensure they put support in place. Sometimes the children find it easier to speak to someone other than family as they do not want to upset you/others. Even your youngest will have questions regarding their daddy. Can you talk to your GP and health visitor to see what support there is for you and your children?

If you have not already been advised there is a DWP bereavement payment (not repayable) which you should be able to get.

Please surround yourself with trusted friends and family. And as others have said this forum allows you to share your inner thoughts without judgement.

Take care. xxx

Me either izabelle my husband didn’t drink or smoke but ha was 68 lot older than your lovely husband with small children it must be so hard take care annie lv x x x