Struggling to cope

Hello I lost my husband 4 months ago and I still cannot come to terms with it. It was our 4the wedding anniversary on Thursday and that just sent me back to day one. He was taken from me without warning he wasn’t ill and there were no signs. I also find like many people on here how “friends” drop you. My husbands family don’t even have anything to do with me since the funeral and they have also lost other members of their family in the past including both parents and his brother lost a daughter so I would have thought they would know how it feels. I have my family but I am still very much alone. My husband was my best friend, my rock and we had so many plans and lots more memories to make. People say to me that it will get better but I cannot see how that is possible when we did everything together


Hi Heather sorry for your loss . People that say it will get better can’t have lost a soulmate because it’s 2 years for me and it hasn’t got any easier in fact i feel its worse because i feel like I’m getting further away from him. It still feels unreal we was together 24/7 and did everything together now everything seems such a struggle to do, i have no energy or motivation to do the smallest of jobs. If it wasn’t for our dogs i would have given up long ago. Friends have all disappeared now i dont even bother to text them now as fed up with always being the one that has to text first. Considering one of them promised jim they would look out for me, i feel shes let him down. Full of💩 the lot of them. Sending you a hug. Xx

@Heatherlh Sorry that you find yourself here, as much as it’s supportive and people will get you, I’m sure you would really love to have your husband back.
I am 58 now and lost my partner 49, suddenly and unexpectedly, not ill, no signs just went out as usual on his bike and had a cardiac arrest, died instantly.
It’s hard and no amount of time will make it better but it does get easier, the pain dulls and days get a bit brighter.

4 months is still early days, I’m 6 months today and I have waves of grief and then some normality for a bit. But when the days are bad, I just embrace them and accept I’m not going to be great that day. It then passes till the next time.

I can socialize now, have good days and even have a laugh. Friends disappear back to their own lives and despite offers of help they don’t really come to fruition. My family and his have been amazing though and a couple of close friends so I am lucky that way.

1 Like