Struggling to find my way

Hi. Im 42 and from Leeds. My brother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on the 18th November at just 40 years old. Due to a mix up between the hospital, the registrar and the coroner it took a whole month before we could lay him to rest which was just awful.

He is at rest now and I’m thankful for that. My work was amazing and gave me all the time off I asked for.

Now I feel I should be on my way back to a level of normality, i have a wife and 2 amazing very young kids who need me to be there for them. But i just can’t get my head straight. There are so many things in my head like paying the funeral costs, dealing with debts my brother had, not to mention it takes the slightest reminder then my concentration is gone for the rest of that day.

At the moment I just can’t think of how to move forward.

To anyone else out there going through anything similar my heart goes out to you.


1 Like

Hi @michael1409

What you are going through and experiencing is normal and part of the grieving process. Grief is a journey to be taken at your pace, it is not a race. You move forward by taking one day at a time and allowing yourself to grieve.

There will be good days and bad days as grief is a rollercoaster of emotions. There is a useful informative self-help Grief Guide by Sue Ryder that will help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief. When you are ready and feel up to it, take a look, it may be of support and help to you.

Everyone’s bereavement journey is different, you must be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself. There is no time limit as to how long you grieve.

You are not alone, we are all here to support you. Take care.


Im so sorry for your loss, my younger sister too was taken suddlenly july’21, never got to say bye, hospital did a right number on her, my Dad found dead Aug’22 but the pain of my sister is so unbelievable i dont think im grieving my Dad, there is no time limit on grief and if affects us all differently, is there any financial help you csn get from the goverment, there is for spouses, we were also told regarding my Dad, if anyone came looking for money we were to say no funds in the estate, i was under the impression when someone died their debts died too, maybe try phoning CAB for advice, hopwfully someone here might have more advice. You brother has only just passed so will be so raw for you, be kind to yourself and dont put pressure on yourself, it was atleast 7 months before i got through one day without crying, i still break down but have allowed myself a time to be sad so i can try and focus on the rest of the day. My thoughts are with you and i hope you get some financial help with funeral costs so you dont have to carry that burden too.