I’m 27 and lost my ex fiance to suicide 4 months ago. We had only been seperated for 6 months after a difficult few years and had been in contact on and off. I love him very much. The first few months after he died, I was off work and completely disassociated. Didn’t know what time of day it was and always forgetting things. About 6 weeks ago I went back to work and I’m struggling. I am depressed and don’t enjoy leaving the house. I used to love my job but now I feel uninterested and don’t care. It sounds weird but I miss the earlier days of loss because no one expected anything of me and I could do whatever I needed to feel better. Returning to normality is brutal and I have no interest in anything. Has anyone experienced this? Should I be finding it easier?
Hi, im so sorry for your loss, i have experienced 4 deaths in 5 years which inclide my wife and mother. Things will get easier i believe, i have not had chance to grieve properly, i seem to get to a poin of sort of happiness, then another setback. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen to you, it will take time but you CANNOT give in and throw your own future away. Take 1 day at a time and if you are feeling down, try to think happy thoughts and memories. In time you will learn to smile again and mean it. Sending 
Hi Evie, You put that so well. Im going back to work next week and, like you, I have no interest in it. You’re spot on about the early days when nobody expects anything from you, it’s easier than now. Take care x
I’ve had an experience similar to this after losing my wife in May last year. My problem was I became angry at the world a month after Julie passed. The reason being everybody just carried on as if nothing had changed.
The first month/few weeks everybody seemed to be as affected as me then it all seemed to change and everyone else just got on with life. I did realise in the end that this is something you need to do. The world doesn’t stop turning although in your mind you believe it should.
Totally agree - it is grief you will learn to live with it and enjoy life again. There is a fog initially and it will lift. Keep at it routine helps.