Struggling to move on

Hi all , 3 years ago I lost my darling wife to cancer. 3 weeks later my mother in law passed away. 6 weeks after that I lost my dad. My mum had passed away 5 years prior to all of this.
For the past three years I seem to have just survived by working and making sure my kids were all okay. Now I have suddenly realised that I am alone , kids are self sufficient and I don’t know how to move on with my life without my wife and parents

Hello Garryc

I am so sad to read what a terrible time you have expereinced the last few years. Losing your wife, mother in law and parents is very distressing but all of them within a short period of time is very hard indeed.

Your children are lucky to have such a loving person looking out for them and that must have made such a difference in helping them through everything.

Bereavement is as I was told when I lost my Mum just an existance at first, getting through each day somehow and feeling a sense of relief when each is over. I was also told to be kind to myself which I thought silly at the time but realise now is true. Taking time for yourself, doing little things to reward yourself for coping with difficult days or situations.

Your children are now self sufficeint and that is all credit to you. Now you must concentrate on yourself. Take time to do what you want to do. Even something small each day like sitting relaxing with a coffee or tea, going for a walk somewhere you like. Spend time remembering your wife and times together. Happy memories are good and healing.

If it feels too much don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is help on this forum, the online bereavement counselling service, which is shown to the right of the page. People there can help you and what is great is you can stay at home and use the service.

Take care of yourself.

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GarryC, I have had a similar experience to you, but not in such bucket loads. I lost my husband of 34 years last June 2017, in a road traffic incident. It was a long horrible tale, not for here. Anyway, that was bad enough, then almost a year to the day I lost my 90 year old uncle, who lived with us, I was his full time carer in the end. I am going to have to sell up and move now. I have a big farm to run by myself and just cannot do it all. Drowning is the nearest thing to describe it. My grown up son has no interest in the land and has enough struggles of his own with the loss of his dad. However he assures me he can now see light at the end of the tunnel. Not sure I can see any sign myself yet.

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