I’ve hit the 5 month mark since my dad passed away suddenly of a blood clot in the lung. Recently I just can’t seem to shake the feeling of loss. I go to work and I am fine apart from the usual thoughts of him every hour. But when I get home I feel so depressed and miss him desperately. I dream about him a lot. I’ve dreamed of him begging me to go and be with him. I’ve dreamed of him hugging me so tight then disappearing. I always knew I would struggle but it seems to be getting worse not better. I’m 2 months away from getting married and I considered cancelling but whenever it goes ahead he won’t be there with me. I just don’t know how to move forward I can’t find any support in my local area.
Hello Loopy92,
I’m so sorry to hear about the sudden passing of your dad. It sounds as though things are a struggle at the moment. With such a significant life event coming up it’s understandable that you’re feeling the loss of your dad and having dreams about him.
Special occasions like a wedding can trigger lots of emotions. We have an article about coping with important dates and events when you’re grieving, which may be useful for you. You can find that here: Sue Ryder Grief Guide
You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Eleanor
Hi Loopy
I am so sorry you have lost your Dad. You must be feeling so many emotions , grief is a rollercoaster and it can hit us when we least expect it. I can completly relate to the overwhelming feeling of sadness , remember that it is ok to feel like that and allow yourself that. I can understand your thoughts on your wedding ,but I am sure your Dad would want you to continue with your special day. He may not be present in the physical sense but he will be with you . Have you thought about maybe having a special photo at the table to honour your Dad , a special song, or you could have a wee photo slipped into your bouquet of flowers.
I lost my Dad in December very suddenly and lost my Mum 2 weeks ago , again very suddenly and the sadness I feel is overwhelming. Please be gentle on you and if you would like to chat more pop me a message , hugs x
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Hi @Loopy92 - sorry to hear youre still struggling. I am 3.5 months on from losing my mum and still cry every day and struggle to feel happy. Sometimes i think im just about feeling happy but i remember that mum isnt here to share it with and i feel sad again. So can totally understand your thoughts on the wedding. I expect everything is all arranged and organised so it would be difficult to rearrange ? Its not as easy as just postponing a party is it !
From what ive read from others on here who are further along- you will always feel sadness so i guess even if you delayed by a year or two you would still be sad at points on the day as its a special day and you would want him there. But like has been mentioned - maybe take some time a few mins or so in the day to be with your thoughts of him- write something down how you feel and put in a memory box of him - and then put it away and enjoy your day. He would want you to be happy thats all parents want for their children. I have 2 young children and this is what id want from them. Just to know they are ok xxx
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Hi Loopy ,
I can see why the pain, you are feeling
feels worse at the moment ,as you are approaching a very special event in your life, and the fact that your dad isn’t there to share it must be heartbreaking for you . I see you already have had some helpful advise, but, i made a call to cruse recently after the sudden death of my husband. One of their councillors suggested i write a letter to him perhaps this is something that may be helpful here too . You can tell him all the things you want to say to him and tell him about the wedding and how sad you are he’s not with you . Sadly we can not bring him to you in person on the day, but by carrying a photo or perhaps a personal item of your dads ,it may offer some comfort.
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Thankyou, I was going to look at getting some counselling to help. X
Thankyou so much for your reply I write a small letter in a journal to him every night. No one can ever teach you how to get through this I suppose
X
Thankyou for replying, you never really expect anyone to understand how you feel.
I have a photo charm to hang off my bouquet and a picture of us with his handwriting sown into my dress. It’s just difficult to take him out of seating, walking me down the aisle. Even suit shopping was the worse but I just had to hold all the emotion in x
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