I lost my beloved dad four months ago to cancer.
I’m struggling to cope with life as it is now. I’m trying to be patient with myself and allow myself to feel what I’m feeling but I’m finding it incredibly frustrating as I feel so tired and don’t want to do anything, yet I’m so bored and lonely. I know that if I do do something (even as simple as going outside to put something in the shed) I feel a bit better, so why don’t I help myself? Some days I will just sit in my pyjamas all day!
I have hundreds of books I want to read, yet feel like reading none. I HATE having to cook for myself every night, it feels such an effort. I don’t work as I feel physically and mentally unable to hold down a job. I deferred my University course when Dad was really poorly and don’t feel like I want to go back in September (to be honest I didn’t really like the course anyway).
I feel like I want to meet people and make new friends but I simply don’t have the energy - yet, I am so lonely! None of it makes sense.
My husband works away for long periods overseas so I spend a lot of time alone. I don’t have any friends in this town, and most of my immediate family live 45 minutes away (admittedly this isn’t a great distance). Usually I would stay with my mom at least once a week but due to recent circumstances I haven’t seen her as much.
Just feel crap all round. I am still finding it hard to believe my dad has gone. I know it’s early days but when does it sink in?!
My heart goes out to you all on here who are struggling.
Lots of love xxx