Hi, I’m new here.
And I currently feel so disappointed in myself for needed to joint this chat.
Today I lost a close family member. So I’m absolutely devastated, heartbroken and currently grieving. But I’m struggling to be able to express my emotions as my partner has recently lost his grandmother back in September. He’s started to have mental breakdowns because of this, and he is now on antidepressants. I feel like I need to stay brave for him, I can’t have my breakdown incase it triggers him, or causes him to break. I’m 25 years old and lost my dad back in 2011 (I was 12). I don’t feel like I’ve been able to grieve tidy - due to be becoming the strong eldest sibling and helping my mother cope and raise my younger sister.
Like have I had a chance to grieve at all? I’ve lost so many people the last couple of years and I feel like it’s all building up and im struggling to stay afloat.
I feel I need to be strong for my partner and allow him to regain his thoughts - it’s been less than a week since his breakdown.
But I also need to break down and cry all my feelings out. I feel every loss is a trigger of grief to when my dad died. Is this normal? Have I grieved properly?
I don’t really know how to end this message,
But thank you for reading…
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Hello @Smodd , I am so sorry for your loss. You have been going through a very difficult time. Please don’t feel disappointed with yourself for needing to come on here. It’s ok to reach out and need support yourself, especially as you are staying strong for everyone else. I have recently lost my partner, we were together for 20 years. Please reach out on here whenever you need to. I am sending you hugs 
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Hello @Spiky1, thank you. I really appreciate the hugs! I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how heartbroken my mam was when my dad died, so I can’t imagine how you feel.
Xx
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