Today is so hard, I took my children to school, then went to the supermarket I was wandering down the aisles seeing things that I used to buy for my husband that I don’t need to buy anymore as no one else likes them. I just broke down in the middle of the shop and I’ve not been able to stop crying since.
I feel like I’m in so much pain, I know I’m in early days as it’s only been 7 weeks but I’m struggling to carry on without him.
I know how you feel lost my Husband to cancer oct 2022 and i find myself looking at things my husband liked and wish he was still here so i can buy things for him its silly little things i miss about him like his jokes and the things he said and done
Ah @Gem2 I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I had a similar experience in the supermarket just before Christmas. I lost my husband in November. I kept seeing all the things we would buy for Christmas and for the family get togethers. I completely went to pieces when I got home. If I’d been going to finish myself off, that would have been the day. It was complete despair. Its 9 weeks today since he went and the despair is as intense but not as often. Keep posting and reading on here. Big cuddle to you. Jean x.
Ps just out of curiosity, did anyone approach you in the shop when you broke down? Xx.
Awe just try and think tomorrow woll be another day n i wont feel like that…i am 7 weeks too n feeling it today.at work but not coping as i have earlier in the week perhaps im tired
I know what you mean and although I didn’t go to a supermarket for a long time after losing Richard I still did much the same when I did.
Sending hugs xxx
I hope you’re ok, it’s been 5 weeks today, since I lost my boyfriend suddenly , I to can’t help but breakdown, weather it be in the supermarket, the bank, or in a taxi. Its so painful him not being here , I’m really lonely and feel empty… Reading other peoples stories on here, does help, it gives me a little bit of comfort, to know it will get easier and I’m not alone , other people are in the same situation as me and feel exactly how I feel…
Sending you lots of love xx
I never realized just how much of a rollercoaster this sort of grief is, just not many highs. I lost Mike 10 weeks ago. I always used to buy him a big bar of hazelnut dairy milk chocolate from Asda. Now i avoid that aisle.
Some days are bearable and others i have mini panic attacks. I talk to myself every day.
Ive found having a bath helps to calm me down but i feel guilty as Mike always used to moan about the cost of warming the water.
I also tell myself out loud at least once a day that im ok. Im doing as well as i can.
If i have things to do i focus on doing one thing a day and if thats all i can concentrate on its a plus if i get it done.
Be kind to yourself.
Early days for you yet @JaneD but you sound to be doing so well. I know what you mean about feeling guilty if you do something your husband wouldn’t have liked as I’m the same.
I talk to myself and to Richard and my poor family get messages on WhatsApp about every little thing I achieve to help me to a) feel good that a managed it and b) to have someone to share it with.
I’m 8 1/2 months on from that awful night when I lost him so suddenly and I do think I am improving in many ways. Of course I still cry at the slightest thing some days and relive various aspects of what happened but I am functioning better and the tears are less often. I am back doing a lot of activities but none which we did together yet and and have no idea when I will feel brave enough to do those again.
Sending love. xxx
Your pist is so encouraging. Im only 8 weeks on this road and feeling worse these last 2 days just pray for peace and a way of coping.
@Jan271 I’m so pleased it helped. I know we are all different and some people react differently to situations but I use my determination to make Richard proud to motivate me to get things done around the house as well as the knowledge that others still need me, not least my daughters.
I also have other people who rely on me for various things, including my 85 year old Mum.
Part of who I am as a person is helping others and I can’t imagine giving up doing that. A lady who attends the craft group I volunteer at rang me yesterday and said she and another of the ladies who goes are so worried that it will be closed down (it didn’t happen yesterday when it wasn’t my turn to go) and that’s the only place they go to see anyone. I can’t let that happen so I have that kind of motivation to make me do things even when I would rather just stay at home.
Others may find similar motivation or a completely different thing which works for them - people have mentioned their job being it for them - but when you are ready you can try a tentative step back into what helps.
I feel the same I hate supermarket shopping as my hubby loved it and loved cooking, my grown up kids come and look in the cupboards and say omg theirs
nothing here anymore!! We have a little laugh about it but it breaks my heart as I just can’t be bothered and when I do I end up crying and returning home without things I actually need
A friend suggested online shopping and I think I may give that a go and possibly buy a few of his little treats and try and enjoy them, he would be saying go on girl enjoy.