I have recently lost my dad to multiple myeloma. He suffered so much and for so long that I felt an almost relief when his journey ended. I thought I was coping quite well until my mum was diagnosed with cancer last month (less than 2 month from dad passed). I am suffering from uncontrollable anxiety, not necessarily related to either event and not triggered by thoughts of either event. I am finding it very difficult to cope with day to day activities. I am throwing myself into work because it’s the only thing that calms me. I can eventually pull myself out of it but days or weeks later it appears again and the fear of its return is suffocating. My GP prescribed a mild anti-depressant which I have been reluctant to take and have yet to. I would much prefer to have the coping strategies to deal with my anxiety and /or grief without becoming reliant on medication. I have very supportive partner and 2 beautiful children and I feel I should be thankful for that but struggle to find joy in their company which riddles me with guilt.
Hello @Mazd198, I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad and your mum’s diagnosis - that is such a lot to cope with. It does sounds like you are really struggling with anxiety at the moment. Well done for recognising this and talking to your GP.
You say that you would like some strategies to help you to cope with grief so I wanted to share a few things that you might want to explore.
Our Online Bereavement Support page has information about some of the support we offer, including our Grief Self Help platform and our free online bereavement counselling.
The NHS website has a self-help resource for anxiety which has some things you can try yourself at home.
I hope these links are helpful; please do keep reaching out for support, you’re not alone.
Hi @Mazd198
I’m so sorry for your loss, It sounds like your going through a lot at the minute and like the post above says well done for acknowledging the anxiety and recognising it that’s the first step.
I lost my mum in March very unexpected this triggered anxiety and panic attacks in me. Like you I have been very reluctant to take tablets for it so I have been researching it and ways to help with it I’m at the the point where I will try anything. So I have took up yoga and meditation, which I have to say although I initially thought was hippy claptrap actually really helps. I use meditation for stress and anxiety by Adrienne on you tube for 15 mins and it really helps with coping with the anxiety when it’s at it worst. I’ve also found distraction like work does help but also you need to allow yourself to feel it sometimes too as horrible as it is. My anxiety is still there but has got better. I do have counselling which really helps aswell I think sometimes it’s a combination of things that help you cope with it. My symptoms when I first had it were chest pains aches all over my body and it it’s peak light headed which upon talking through it at counselling I realised I was hyperventilating and didn’t know I was. The meditation has helped me so much with all them physical symptoms. Have you thought about counselling?? Or maybe a diary?? Write everything down so your letting it out and not bottling up. Counting helps me sometimes aswell backwards from 100. There’s an app called what’s up and it has different grounding techniques and built in diary and stuff on there that I have found helps sometimes.
I hope I’ve helped in some way there with things that have been useful for me. I know everyone is different and different things work for different people. It’s so good you’ve got such support aswell that’s also a major factor the most important thing is to look after yourself aswell eating sleeping right, I know sometimes easier said than done but they’re so important.
Kady.