I lost my partner just over two years ago but feel I am still struggling to move forward and I am not making as much progress as I should be by now. As I lost my partner to addiction (drink) this adds to feelings of guilt and that I somehow let him down by not being able to help him get better. I feel everyone else has forgotten him now which makes me angry, people no longer ask how I am as I guess the expectation is that I should be better now. I find it hard to imagine my life with anyone else and just long to have him back which is making it hard to look at dating again. I am just wondering if it normal to still struggle so much 2 years on. Some days it still hits me so much and I still struggle with the acceptance that I will never see him again or hear his voice, I don’t feel that time heals like people say it should.
I can’t help as only 7 and a half months in, so don’t have the 2 year experience. I do hear that year 2 can be more difficult and I really hope that’s not the case for me.
There are no hard and fast rules to grief and we are all going through different situations and influences that impact how we feel.
Karen Sutton is doing 4 free sessions at the moment on grief and how to move forward. Last one tomorrow 7pm but if you sign up, you can access the recordings that she’s done and you may find them helpful.
Time doesn’t heal…I been told by people that are 5/10 years down this journey that you start to live around and with the grief and some days are like a roller coaster and some days are better. When people expect you to feel better they don’t understand as never been in our shoes. We are not ill we have lost half of ourselves and our lives will never be the same. Don’t be hard on yourself. I feel this is a difficult journey with no destination. Take care xx
Thank you for taking the time to reply , I’m very sorry for your loss. That is exactly it you have to learn to kind of live around the grief somehow while knowing you will never really get over it. My partner was only 37 and I feel I also grieve for what he has lost and will never experience as well as my loss if that makes sense. I probably am too hard on myself and don’t give myself enough credit for the progress I do make. It definitely helps to know I am not alone and so many others are sadly in the same situation. Xx
Thank you for taking the time to reply, I am sorry for your loss and hope you can find some comfort in knowing you are not alone. I have also heard the two year mark can be harder I guess everyone heals differently. Some days I think I am doing well others not so much but it is very much a rollercoaster x
Excellent explanation of this horrible situation we are in, thank you.
@CB34 i am so sorry for your loss as well. 37 is so young. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly nearly 9 months ago. He was 53 years old. Life is so unfair and cruel. Our partners lives have been robbed and our future plans and dreams have gone. Someone said to me the other day that we can’t control the future or the past as we well know. Take care and big hugs xx
Thank you @John1066 for your kind words. Take care and big hugs xx
Or as my bereavment counsellor said its like an egg … the grief is the yoke and the white around it is our life as we learn new paths and expand our world. But the grief stays the same … xx
Yes that is what I have been told also xx