Like this really, absolutely royal B, head of our local welfare who came to “pay her respects”. I didn’t even know who she was!! And among other niceties she exuded, she asked me how old l am and when l said 72, she says “well, at your age it’s very hard to change and acommodate…” So far l haven’t been in need of her favors and l hope l never will!!!
2 Likes
Holy cow!! I have no idea how people can be so insensitive. 2wks after losing my husband, a supposed friend said that i was young enough to move on and start again ???. Seriously, i don’t think it matters about age or anything, people will find a way to be cruel - whether intentionally or not. Idiots 
xx
2 Likes
That is an awful thing to say about your age, these kind of people are anything but friends. I lost my husband in September this year and my family have been wonderful. I too cannot stop crying and emotions are so powerful. I wish I could just get a sign that my husband is around me. I did have trouble with all my light bulbs after he passed and had get new bulbs, whether it was my husband I don’t really know. Try to ignore all the nasty comments they probably only think of themselves. Hopefully the pain gets a little easier for us. Keep safe xxx
3 Likes
Oh i have ! The stuff people say … its ridiculous insensitive and cruel as you say … x
2 Likes
So terribly sorry for your loss honey, I’m glad you have a support, they will make each day a little more bearable 
. I am sure that the light bulbs was indeed your beloved, how wonderful 
, he is watching you. My husband told me to be patient, that he would never truly leave me, i keep begging him for a sign, but i think my grief might be blocking things? And also, the funeral director (who was not religious, but spiritual), told me it could take a while, because his body was so terribly ravaged, she said it takes time to heal on the other side. I don’t know how many times a day i ask him , beg him, to show me that he is somewhere, that one day we will be together again. Stay strong
2 Likes
Hi Hoggy.
Just some practical advice, if I may. Regarding the paperwork, there is a facility called “Tell us once” on the gov.uk website. I used it recently after my wife passed away. You basically fill in your loved one’s details once and they take care of anything related to the government or civil service - income tax, passport, driving licence, benefits etc. None of it is pleasant but at least it minimises the number of times you have to have difficult conversations or correspondence.
Best regards
DWJ
3 Likes
Oh thanks my dear, i was told about this at the time, then discovered it had to be done within 28days, which i hadn’t realised, never mind. My solicitor has been extremely helpful to be honest. The worst part was dealing with a large life insurance company, so unpleasant 
. I guess it was all such a shock, and knowing where to even begin, whilst in grief and shock , was really difficult, but i suppose that’s because we don’t want to think of it happening, so we don’t look into it? I don’t know, my husband was only 54, so i think we just didn’t think for a moment this would happen to us. Thank you so much for being in touch xxx
1 Like
Correct … i used that !!! Xxl
1 Like
Hi Hoggy.
I know, my wife was only 55. I’m 56 and we didnt for a minute think we would be facing this for years. I have found most companies to be fantastic to deal with - very helpful and compassionate. A couple of others have been very cold and business like and almost make you feel like a bit of a fraud. I took great pleasure in transferring busines from one of the bad ones to one of the good ones recently - I told them exactly why, too.
Take care.
2 Likes
Thank you xxx yes, i too have ditched the awful ones, and like you say, most companies have been very good. I hope you’re looking after yourself xx
2 Likes
Hi everyone ive read all your messages of support it really makes a difference when people can relate and understand the feelings
I lost my wife 5yrs ago then my mother 3mths after that.i was just starting to cope then suddenly lost my brother i dont go out socialising and feel llike a prisoner in my home now
Can i also say yes men cry too lnfact the tears are swelling up just texting this
I hope you all dig deep and get back on your feet little by little its what they would of wanted us to do take care from charlie in england x
4 Likes
Hi Charlie, so sorry for your losses and that compacted grief you have had to endure . My husband wasn’t shy of crying, and certainly on his diagnosis, he was heartbroken at how this would destroy us. 
. I can honestly say, it’s only our beloved dogs keeping me going just now, i don’t like thinking of you being in isolation Charlie. If you ever need to talk, that hand to pull you back up and out of that dark place, please reach out. It’s all too easy to let go. Don’t
3 Likes
We moved to this village a month before Covid locked us in our homes, so we knew no one. Family are scattered across the country. 2 years and 10 months after our move Grahame died. I knew I would need people for companionship and emotional support so I set out to find them. I joined short mat bowls, singing for health and a walking group. People I have met have been wonderful despite being new-found friends. On Friday I had an appointment at a clinic miles away and was told I shouldn’t drive. My neighbour took me and bowling friends collected me.
It’s been tough, putting myself out there, being honest about the loss of my husband and about my friendless state. People have been wonderful. How can they know what you need if you don’t tell them?
Of course I have days of despair which I don’t share with them, but I’m pleased with what I did and so grateful to those who responded.
3 Likes
My partner passed away 3 weeks ago unexpected…few weeks before my cat escaped and i was doen so my partner brought 2 other cats to cheer me up…i also have a kitten…after my partner passed someone posted they found my cat…so now i jave 4 of the buggers…i said he found my cat for me…but no they dont get on as my missing cat has come back to 2 new cats ans is like wtf is going on haha…i got bit getting caught up in a tiff between 2 of them and needed antibiotics lol so im being kept busy im greatful for the furbabies even tho theyre added stres atm but theyre helping so much just that comfort of them being there i feel better with them than friends tbh.
3 Likes
Animals are so comforting at a time like this xxx
1 Like