Hi, guess I’m looking for some advice after losing my husband nearly 5 months ago. I have no family, and no friends, things seem incredibly bleak, and the only thing keeping me going just now, is caring for my beautiful dogs. All the advice i see is about talking to friends, however, i really don’t have any. One i thought was a friend of over 10yrs, two weeks after my husbands death, she got angry that i was still crying, and that was that, no more contact. That’s ok, but does anyone have any constructive advice, maybe a few tips when things are really dark? Thanks 
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Hello Hoggy1, I am the same, lost my husband nearly 5 months ago and all our friends seem to have deserted me. I still cry most days and I am having counselling but not sure if it is helping. Sorry I dont have any constructive advice but just to say that this site helps to let us know we are not the only ones going through this horrible time. Take care Ann x
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Hi hoggi so sorry for your loss .My partner died 6 month ago ,my family live abroad and i have only one good friend to rely on so know how lonley this life is now .He was my life now its just me and the 2 cats most of the time .You can always pm me if you want and stay on this sight ,we all.understand and just add your friend og 10 years wasn’t a friend to treat you like that .This site is great xxx
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Bless you honey, i am so sorry for your loss. I don’t know how we’re meant to get through this, but as you say, we are not alone, so many go through the same. I can’t stop crying at the moment, just when i thought i was making progress, it’s so exhausting 
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Gosh, thanks honey. So many emotions, very difficult seeing through it all. . I feel strength in this group , maybe not so alone as i feel. Thank you xx
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I’m so sorry for your loss too. I’m the same. I thought I was doing well but the last couple of weeks anything seems to set me off crying and I feel so exhausted afterwards. I keep telling myself my Ron wouldnt want me to be like this but it dosnt seem to help. xx
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Hello Hoggy1,
So sorry for your loss!! Your post could have come from me. I feel exactly the same. My husband passed away from prostate cancer 9 weeks ago tomorrow and l’m in hell. There was just the two of us and our cats, books, common interests, understanding each other without words. I have neither family nor friends l could turn to and those who said we’re here for you, we’re friends blah blah - l guess they just loved the sound of their own words and how great it made them feel in their own eyes. Now l get invited over to lunch or dinner here and there by kind neighbors but l don’t see a soul the rest of the week… l guess they’re being kind to the poor lonely widow. I haven’t gotten used to the word yet anyway!!! In my eyes and heart l am still a married woman for almost 32 years, nothing can change that. I must stop telling people l’m ok when l really feel like ending this thing called life l’m leading now. Only our cats still keep me on this side… l am here to listen and talk if you want to:pray:
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I feel that, my Adrian told me i had to man up and be strong, and that he didn’t want to see mu huddled up crying. Feel like I’m letting him down, being weak. It’s just so damn hard
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Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry. None of us deserve this pain. I will be here for you too . I left my job to care for my husband, so he could die at home. I can’t face going back to work , all the questions, pitying looks, too much. The pain is so very raw, as yours is. I really wouldn’t be carrying on if it weren’t for our dogs, i just want to be with him 
xxx
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Thank you Hoggy1,
Each and every beraucracy leaves me a nervous wreck. My husband used to take care of most things and now it’s on me alone.
I think even the kind and well minded social workers we see can’t imagine what it really feels like. I don’t blame them, it’s just a fact that nobody can, unless…
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Yes, the endless tasks to deal with, nobody tells you that. Stacks of paperwork, telephone calls, solicitors, doctors, it has been relentless, and still not over. In a way, having to do it all, has meant carrying on. But, hell, isn’t it just brutal. I can imagine you feel like me, having been put through the wringer, like you’re being ground down, every fibre obliterated. It really has felt like being punished. You hang in there, and i will do the same honey, deal? 
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You got it! Until next time:owl:(l love owls, they’re so beautiful and so wise)
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Make some new friends 
you find this people disappear after the funeral ! They cant cope with it !!! Not your fault - its just people ! Xxx
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Awesome 
xxx (owls are cool 
) 
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So true, shame, but very true, i think people struggle to know how to react xxx
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It’s like adding insult to such a huge injury. Not only are we mourning the passing of our soul mate, we have to play nice and pretend we’re just fine so as not to inconvinience others around us. People…
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Yeh very true ! Ha !! Xx
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Omg yes 
, shame on us for making others uncomfortable 
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Yeah, what is wrong with us people, right?? No matter how hard they try and what they tell us, we just don’t get it. We’re so uncooperative AGHHH:smiley_cat:
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, we’re just selfish and uncooperative xx
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