Anyone else struggling this New Years Eve. First one without my partner. I go from one extreme emotion to the othre fromr feeling OK and that I am coping to then missing her and feeling I cant bear that she isntcoming back
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I lost my hubby on 30th December so just 2 days ago and I feel like I canāt go on without him. I have a 18yr old and 13yr old and I know I have to but the pure pain and hurt in my heart is all I can explain is crucifying me, I just want to be by his side again. I lost my mum in 2023 and now my hubby I canāt see how I canāt be here without him
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I have struggled through December. I feel empty
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I had some support from the care home where G passed one year ago
Many people think one should be better I keep talking to G
I have struggled to over new year, lost my husband 4 months ago very suddenly he was only 55, thought I was coping but today have felt very down and cried a lot. Went out with friends last night but somehow felt worse and very alone.
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Hi I found new year harder than Christmas. Just awful just want my husband back 
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@jobsy I know the feeling all to well, Christmas and New year have been terrible, mostly on my own a few visits from friends. Its been 3 months now since Jacqui passed, still canāt believe it, still think I will wake and she will be there. I know its silly, but I canāt even watch āourā programs on TV, I have saved them for when I see her again. So worried about this year, I was given āpermissionā to work from home
permanently due to being her care giver 24/7 for the last 4 years and other than hospital visits barely left the house , but now think I will be wanted back in the office, I just donāt want to do the drive in, donāt feel I will be safe behind the wheel, the grief grips me so hard at times, I would not be able to concentrate. This is just adding to my anxiety about the rest of my life.
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Me too. Christmas was spent with friends who were fantastic but I have never felt so alone whilst in company. New year was a torture. I miss my husband so much and the prospect of 2025 without him is bleak
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Dear Stapes
So sorry for your loss. Have you spoken to your company about working from home and having a gradual return into the office. They know you were Jacquiās carer and your situation
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Im so sorry to hear this. I also have lost my hubby 29/10 he was also my best friend and everyday is a huge struggle to even get out the bed. I also lost my mum in 2020 which was so hard to deal with but loosing a partner is so much harder . I canāt see how this is going to get any easier
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Hello stapes, Iām sorry to hear about your Jacqui.
Thatās a good idea from KateTr re discussing a gradual return. I went to my GP for something unrelated within a week of my husband dying last year and she suggested a Bereavement Advisor and a gradual return to duties, completing a form for my employer, who was patient and understanding . I would not have considered any of that, I was in shock - My Darlingās diagnosis Dec 21st ā23 and died April 30th 58yrs old stomach cancer having survived a quintuple heart bypass Feb ā23 (I tell you this so thereās context when you have your own conversation).
Someone told me months 3 and 4 were worse than even the worst imaginable months that I was experiencing, for me they were correct.
One minute at a time.
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I lost my mum in feb 2023 and now my hubby dec 30th 2024. Your right losing my mum was really hard and my hubby got me through it. He was amazing especially as we lost his dad my father in law just over a yr earlier oct 2021. Loosing my hubby has just been something that has pained me like nothing else, my heart literally feel like it will stop and I pray hourly it will but I have a 13 yr old and a 18 yr old which I know I need to be here for I just canāt see any way forward with him. I canāt.
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My hubby got me through the time of loosing my mum, he was my rock and always was. I really canāt see how I will get through life without him. Iām not a strong person at all and loosing him has broken me. We met when I was 17 and was together for 27 years he is all I have ever known. We have a beautiful son who turned 21 5 days after he passed and I know I have to carry on for him but donāt know how
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I know where you are coming from ,when i lost my mum in 2013 i thought my world had ended but i lost my husband on 25.9.2024 after 58 years together 
we met when we were 16 .were married 54 years and i have never experienced pain like this. Its so hard to explain its like my life is over.half of me is missing Even though i have children and grandchildren who are really good to me they have their partners and families,they have their own lives to live . I feel so alone . I do find comfort when i walk around tidying the house and i chat away as if he is there ,I like to think hes listening, and i say to him that makes a change because you never used to. Thats how our humour was. I loved him all those years ,i still love him and when we meet again we will love all over again .
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Speak to your employers, it sounds like they are compassionate. Ask for some time to work from home and get stronger.
I cry when driving too, looking over and seeing the empty seat is heartbreaking. We were together so much.