My dad is 60 and I am 37. We are not the youngest or oldest to have these problems.
He was diagnosed with a giant grapefruit size tumour of cancer on his liver a few months ago. We then met a specialist surgeon that said (in not these exact words mind) that he could cut out that grapefruit and all our problems would be answered. Then yesterday he went in to do that very job and found it was much worse than he thought. Long story short nothing was cut out, there is nothing that can be done and my dad is dying.
now I’m in shock right now and trying to let this all sink in. My dad is the most important person in my life and the idea he won’t be here at some point soon fills me with absolute terror. He is my biggest support, the person I go to for all my support, guidance and generaL direction in life.
we lost my grandfather, my dads father to cancer only a few months ago. This all feels too much and very unfair.
I know what I am saying is nothing new here and people go through this every day. But I suppose I’m looking for some help on how to navigate this and manage things in the best way I can. Not just for me, but my mum, my siblings and most importantly my daughter. I just feel lost, alone and unable to see where I should start with all this. My dad would usually be the man to guide me, but he is trying to get his head around it all himself right now.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I’ve experienced exactly the same thing.
Try to spend as much time as you can with your dad. Cancer sucks.
But prepare yourself for it. Speak to your Dr and see if they can help with your mental health. Surround yourself with people that you can count on, siblings? Friends? Someone who will understand. It’s a difficult road, and very raw. Wishing you all the strength. X
I’m so sorry to read this @kaytee1987 and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now. I’d suggest you speak to your GP or Macmillan to start the ball rolling with having some sort of counselling to help you deal with the shock of the diagnosis and what the future might look like.
My Dad passed very suddenly, due to pneumonia, and as the days have turned into months, I wish I’d asked him certain things when he was still here and not things I’d ever imagined I wanted to know. Silly things really like what his favourite colour was or favourite animal. I wish I had a recording of his voice. Could you use the time you have with your Dad to make special memories and find out all you can about his life, things maybe you don’t know about him? I don’t know how old your daughter is, but if you or your Dad are able to, could he maybe write her a letter she can open on her first birthday/Christmas without him (if not too painful for her) or any future event like starting a new school, going off to uni or a future wedding day? Something she’ll always treasure. My friend’s daughter passed at the age of 17, from cancer, and she was such an amazing young lady. She took a huge role in planning what was in her funeral service, picking hymns, music and poems and the service was beautiful and so her! It also seemed to help her to take back some control from cancer. Maybe as a family you could look through precious photos together? If its not too painful, maybe your Dad would like to plan aspects of his own service.
I don’t know if anything I’ve written is helping you but I’m sending so much 
to you and your family at this time