Hello,
I lost my mum in January. It has absolutely broke me. I find myself not being motivated or wanting to even clean my own home. I take my two children to school come home with my tot and when shes napping i literally just lie in bed reading messages from my mum or looking at photos. We were so close. She took sick last year with kidney failure things picked up then she had heart failure and alot of other medical problems which lead to me losing her. I just dont know how to do life without her. I feel so lonely even though i have my children and husband. Someone please tell me this is normal to feel like this. I am scared i am slipping into depression but how do you tell the difference. Sorry for blabbering onā¦ i juat feel stuck.
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Hello @Sarah92,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. Iām so sorry for the loss of your mum. You are not alone - many of our members have lost their mums, too, and will understand some of what youāre going through.
Youāve asked if what youāre feeling right now is normal. So I wanted to share our support page which you might find helpful to read:
Iām sure someone will be along to offer their support, too. Your loss is so very recent, please do try and be gentle with yourself 
Take care,
Seaneen
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Thank you very much for your reply , i will most definitely have a read of the support page 
xxx
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Iām going thru the same thing, Iām constantly looking at our texts and photos, videos,
Iām trying to keep up with everything but I just canāt be bothered, I just want to stay at home and sleep.
Iām trying to do a job a day - itās a very dark feeling, almost impossible to shake.
Like u Iām hoping this is normal and not depression x
I am so sorry your going through the same thing. Its definitely one of the hardest things i have ever had to face. My wee mum has been gone two months today and i have honestly just cried all day. Went to the grave and sat for a while begging for her to come home 
i did manage to go for ice-cream and a beach walk with my hubby and kids but the saddness is extremely heavy! I hope you get through as best you can i dont have any advice but please reach out to me if you ever need a chat.
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Hi there i to recently. Lost my.mam 5th january
She went into hospital with a chest infection they did an xray and was told family should go. to say their goodbyes as prognosis was she wouldnt make it through the night she passed away 5am with .e hokdu g her h and . And i cant accept it the grief is so bad when i become emotional i am wrenching as if im going ro be sick i donāt know how to deal with it ā¦is this normal
Aw i am so sorry. I lost my mummy on the 8th of January its absolutely devastating. What i have learnt that no one greives the same. But i can tell you that i have cried so hard that i am physically sick. I went to work last night and was doing my job then all of a sudden it hit me that i would never see my mum again and i cried the whole way home. I cry every day i have cried everyday from the 5th of January when they told me my mum had 24hrs to live. She was only 55 and had so much to look forward to with her granchildren it breaks my heart every day. Please be kind to yourself and keep talking about your mummy sending love x
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Thankyou for your reply its nice to know my wrenching to be sick is a progress of grieving
So sorry your mum was so young
My.mam was 91 and it gurts me when peopel say well she had a good innings doesnt matter how old she was she was still my. Mam and im the omly girl out of 7 of us but 4 of my brothers live out the area so dont get to see them much
I do hope we can see the end of this tunnel eventually but for now there is no end
Try stay strong i keep telling myself mam wouldnt want me to like this but it makes no difference
Take care and im thinking of you xx
Hi Sarah,
What you have said totally resonated with me.
I am new to the page, like yourself I lost my mum recently (nov24) and I thought it was hard at the time, as time has gone on it does feel harder for me. My health seems to have plummeted and I feel I have no resilience, and the things that tear me apart the most are the unexpected triggers of my grief. The things seen in shops like cards or calling her number before realising she is no longer there. It feels like to me the safety net of love and acceptance has disappeared and left a big hole. I do know that however when I lost my best friend 14 years ago, that grief is a rocky road, one that is individual.
It sounds like you are doing amazingly well especially with young children to coax through with yourself.
I try and set myself a time limit of thinking about my mum or writing memories or sorting pics into a photo album so that it gives me chance to process the feelings but then I donāt lose myself among the grief as I could keep going and I know, for me it will be detrimental. Only you know what you need. If you can be honest with yourself and allow whatever the answer is to that be acceptable I think your body usually knows what to do itās just if we listen or understand it.
I am always around if you want to bounce any feelings off and I know although extremely painful right now, I will come to some acceptance around it. Iām sure it will always hurt but I hope to get to a time where I can be appreciative and grateful of the time I got to spend with her and the lessons she taught me and the crazy parenting choices she made 
Sending love and light xx
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Your mumās messages and texts and photos are all we have left, I worry Iāll lose my phone and I really canāt ever do that. You have to allow yourself to read through them, just keep trying to get through the days. I lost my beautiful Mum last Feb, I would cry every night around 9pm as all my thoughts had caught up on me from the day and it would floor me, partner hasnāt experienced grief like this so didnāt understand, but I found it helped to have a massive pillow in bed to keep squeezing as a hug, so sorry youāre going through this too, keep squeezing your children, keep leaning on whoever you can, youāre not alone x