Struggling with loss of husband last September

I was in hospital recovering from surgery for a broken hip. My husband was on a Whats App video message to me when he suddenly collapsed due to a brain haemorrhage. He died two days later. I am still coming to terms with it even though it was in September last year. The house is a tip as I cant get around to do housework with the pain in my leg and am still on crutches. Any advice please?


Hello Magsie and welcome to this site.
I’m so sorry for your loss- what awful circumstances for you.
It must be so difficult not being as mobile as you’d like to be- are your son and his fiancé close enough to offer some help in the house? Is there anything offered by your Local Authority- the local council? Are you getting any physio to help you get your mobility improved? So tough having all this on top of your grief. I lost my partner Sunny suddenly 8 months ago- he was only 57. I’ve found this site and the Sue Ryder counselling I’ve had very helpful. It’s good to be able to share thoughts and feelings on here that other people understand.
With love
Sophie x

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Oh Magsie what a shock. I’ve had my hip replaced so I know recovery can be slow and long. I wouldn’t worry too much about the state of the house - you can do that little and often. It’s all about you now, recovering from your operation and coming to terms with your loss. My husband died in bed beside me and despite my attempts to revive him
he never recovered from the cardiac arrest. Every day has been a struggle since last Easter and I can only imagine how much more difficult it is for you not being able to get around. There must be someone out there who could lend a hand - family of friends of even the local authority. But my message is get strong yourself before trying to cope with anything else.
Much love

The housework can hang itself. Look after yourself for now. You are struggling enough with a hip replacement and grief. Life is so hard sometimes. We will learn to live with our loss but it’s heartbreaking. My husband died ten months ago and I am struggling more now. Is there any family that could help. Or maybe a neighbour. I am lucky I have friendly neighbours on both sides. I can go round anytime but the trouble is I don’t want to feel a burden to them so I don’t go round that often. I like to talk on the website because we know how each other feels and that helps. Much love x

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My husband died 9 months ago 3 days after being diagnosed with cancer I seemed to be coping at the beginning but now this last 3 months have been unbearable plus for some reason every little pain or ache I have I think its cancer or some other disease I feel I am going mad is there anybody out there who has been like this with anxiety about your health I miss him do much my world has fell apart


Dear Lou
I’m very sorry for your loss. You say in your bio that you’re in Malta- have you got supportive friends there? I totally get what you’re saying- I too thought I was doing ok, and then January came and the reality of it all has hit me harder suddenly. I think I was in a deep state of shock for the first few months.
The shock of your husband’s diagnosis and rapid decline must have been horrendous for you and its no wonder our minds make us overthink everything and get preoccupied with our own health and possible illness. I’ve mentioned counselling further up this thread- maybe you could consider it- Sue Ryder counselling is online and you get six sessions. I did find it really good in helping me to accept that my troubling thoughts and dreams are another part of grieving, and that made me less anxious about it all.
Love to you
Sophie x

Thank you sophie do you think you could send the link yes I have friends who have been supportive more than supportive I am ok during day I go out one or more of my friends will meet me for coffee I have told them about this health anxiety they are supportive but none of them have suffered the loss of husband or spouse they have there own family’s to look after cant be with me constantly

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Hi Lou
Glad you’ve got some good friends- they are so valuable, living diamonds :gem:.
The link is

Sophie x

Thank you so much x