Struggling with loss of husband

My husband was admitted to A&E on the 25 September with a liver infections. Suddenly we were plunged into the world of cancer as he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and acute myeloid leukaemia. He was told with chemo he would soon be able to resume his life but unexpectedly passed away in the early hours of the 25 November. To get a call at 2.30am from the hospital telling me my husband had died an hour earlier was heartwrenching. To loose my husband was hard enough but I now feel as if I am drowning under a waterfall of paperwork. We had been married for 47 years and I now feel as if I have been broken in half. How do you cope?


I can only offer you my deepest sympathy, it’s coming up to 6 months for me now and I wish I could say it gets easier but so far I haven’t found it so. I do have some good days but I still have a lot of bad ones. We all cope differently and all our emotions are different. I’m just trying not to focus on the guilt that threatens to engulf me at times. I hope you can get through this without too much pain. I have been helped by my family and friends but they don’t take away the loneliness and loss :hugs:


@Rafferty I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband also died of pancreatic cancer, 4 months ago.

The simple answer is I don’t cope on the inside. Well meaning people (I’m sure they are), say oh you’re doing well, but I’m really not.

I have days where I cry most of the time, but other days now are marginally better. Friends and family have helped (I don’t have children), and I keep busy.

And the paperwork for anything is one step forward and two steps back.

Take care.

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I lost my own husband very suddenly - heart attack. Kinder for him to be spared any prolonged suffering but a huge shock to me and our adult children.
I’d agree that the paperwork seemed the most daunting thing to deal with at the time. I felt that the very people who should have been helping me the most - banks, solicitors, police (post mortem etc) - were doing the exact opposite.
I know I seemed to spend a lot of time being angry with those people but really, they should have been far more understanding.
Do get the support of friends and family if you possibly can.

Pancreatic cancer stole my husband 12 months ago and the horror of it lives with me every day. Every night when I go to bed I say well that’s another one over with! I still cry every day think I always will. Never realised I was such a girl.
The paper work and jobs you need to get through will keep you going. Make a list of things to do and tick em off as you go.
You’ll be proud of what you’ve accomplished.
I’m really sorry for your loss and wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself x X

Thank you for your kind reply. It is certainly tough.