Struggling with loss of mum

Some days I feel like I’m doing ok and thought I was progressing but recently feel like I have hit rock bottom as going through mum’s things and understanding her passing as she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in March 2020 and pass in July 2020. I was furlough from work after her diagnosis and spent every minute I could with her we’d laugh I’d cry we’d watch tv in bed together and I’d hold her hand. Feel so guilty for not doing more and the odd argument we’ve have , and watching her suffer hurt so much I wish she was here as I rung her everyday without fail

Dear Shelbel21,
It must have been so hard for you to see your mum suffer and to lose her to cancer, It sounds like you two had a very special relationship. Are you an only child? What a comfort it must have been for her that you could spend those last few months with her. In a way, being furloughed may have been the best thing that could have happened to you under the circumstances. I lost my mum 2 years ago. In August my mother in law was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, so we are spending as much time with her as we can. You write that you feel guilty for not doing more and for the odd argument. Dont! None of us are perfect and we will always have some regrets, but I am sure your mum (and my mum) would not want us to be weighed down by guilt.
I can relate to you missing the phone calls. For a long time after my mum had passed away I would sometimes think of phoning her to tell her something, forgetting for a moment that this was no longer possible.
Grief is a strange thing, it can feel like one step forward, two backwards, but looking back, you can probably still see progression. Sorting out belongings will bring back so many memories and can be quite emotional. My sisters and I had 6 weeks to empty my parents house and there were moments when we laughed together, but also moments when we all cried. It is good that you have come to this site. I hope that reading other peoples posts and responses will be very helpful for you. Jo

I was so glad to be furlough so I could send time with mum even if I hadn’t I wanted to be with I do have a sister but she’s not a very nice person and untrustworthy and very much money grabbing. Mum didn’t like her visiting but she was her daughter. I just getting to the stage we’re I feel I’m in a whirlwind and don’t know what to do next

Hi @Shelbel21, so sorry for your loss. I also lost my Mum to lung cancer in March this year. I’ve been the same, some days I feel okish and others I struggle! I’m glad you got to spend so much time together before she passed away. It sounds like you were very close and that you did a lot for her, so try not to feel guilty. I know it’s hard not to when you’re grieving though. I started a post called ‘missing Mum’ and a few of us talk on there and support each other that have also lost our Mum’s, if you’re interested. Take care x