Struggling with loss of my Mum

Been 7 weeks since i lost my Mum suddenly two days before my Birthday.Feel so alone and lost without her and have a strange feeling inside me all the time (hard to explain),just cant believe she has gone.Dreading Mother’s Day and just want her back.

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Hi sorry to hear you are struggling I lost my mum 16 months ago it still hurts like it was yesterday please know that you are not hurting alone just try and take it a day at a time and if you need to seek help from your gp my has been amazing helping me through the worst thing that has ever happens to me. As for Mother’s Day don’t think about it too much i got so worked up about my first one without my mum but I’m the end I didn’t miss her any more on Mother’s Day than I do every other day just try and get through today sending you lots of love x

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Hello Nic,

I know how you feel. I lost my mum 3 months ago and every day is a struggle, the grief is causing me physical pain I cry so much and so hard I feel of tearing through my body and I beg my mum to come back whilst knowing she can’t bear me and she will never come back. It is truly hideous, I am 48 yrs old and I feel like a frightened abandoned little girl. Hugs to you and I hope you can find some peace of mind somehow. I am going to a spiritual yoga retreat in mexico for a month because I am so desperate for help I will try anything.

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I lost my mother 9 months ago very suddenly only hours after i have birth to my daughter she was 46 i to have this strange horrible feeling all the time i feel so afraid lonely and completely heart broken don’t think I’ll ever be the same

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Hi Nic, I know how you feel, its been 2 weeks since my beautiful mum passed away. When she was in hospital, passing away, I asked her to promise me that she’d always be with me. I think she is, I hope so and I hope you too feel the same. Today is mums birthday and seeing all the mothers day stuff in shop windows has been really upsetting too.
How is your experience with trying to get by with day-to-day things and jobs? Sometimes its so hard to be strong.

Hi Kiki-I honestly dont know how i get through the day sometimes but you have to don’t you?Some days i just dont want to get out of bed but i have a 12 year old boy who still needs me and so i carry on.Its harder for me at night when im on my own and i just sit thinking and remembering.Everyone says with time the pain will fade-i personally,don’t believe that,im hoping it gets easier but i think i will always ‘hurt’ inside.
Stay strong,thinking of you.x

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I too am struggling, my mum died in my arms a week last Thursday and I am totally lost. I have continued to go to work but feel numb inside and cannot concentrate on anything. I don’t know how to deal with this.

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I feel the same. I lost my amazing mum 9 weeks ago, just 10 days before my birthday and it’s so hard to keep going but I know it’s what she would have wanted. I’m spending my days talking to her as though she was still here. Even caught myself doing it in the supermarket the other day so must be careful! I can’t offer any words of wisdom but I find it a comfort to know I’m not alone with the same feelings so hope others do too. I’m not sure the pain will ever go but I think you must somehow learn to live with it. Sue Ryder support reminded me today just how early days it is though. I think we need to be a bit kind to ourselves in the meantime and remember they were in our lives for so long that a few short weeks or months is nowhere near enough time to learn to adjust to life without their presence. x

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Its been 16 weeks since i lost my mum. The worst 16 weeks of my life i miss her so much… i sense her near me and that gives me comfort. Also this site has helped knowing im not alone in how i am feeling…sending hugs and strength to you all x

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Hi all, I hope you don’t mind me dropping in to this conversation, but I wondered if any of you feel able to reply to a new member? Jules1967 has recently lost her dad, and I’m sure she’d appreciate a reply. Her post is here: http://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/struggling-my-dads-death

I’m glad to see you all sharing your experiences, and I hope it is helping to be able to talk to each other.

I really wanted to reply to you because the same thing happened to me. My mum died 3 days after I had my first baby and just
Hours after she’d got back
Off holiday and come to see us (October last year)
It’s so hard not being able to share my baby with her. I constantly go to ring or text her to tell her about the baby then realise I can’t.
It’s so unfair. We had so much planned together for my maternity leave and now none of those plans are ever going to happen.
Wish I could give up a big hug because sometimes that’s all I want. Everyone assumes I’m ok but I’m really struggling.
It’s so nice to talk to people who know exacyly how you are feeling.
Sending lots of love to you and your baby
Xx

Hi,

I lost my mum three years ago and although the “pangs” that used to come out of nowhere have ceased mostly, I did find it helped to have a notebook which I used from the moment she was diagnosed with her brain tumour. I wrote in it when i needed to talk to her about things, or get angry about it or at her. I wrote as though I was talking to her directly. I found I needed it for over a year and now I occasionally write something but mostly, I have found some peace. I just miss her being here now.

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