I think we are all struggling more at the moment. I have spent a lot of time today crying, all because my partner who only lost his son 5 weeks ago started to put up the lights outside. All I could do was cry, but looking at them they are lovely and in a way glad they are up. Just another first of doing something that my son won’t see.
Why is life so cruel I ask. Take care x
Ok, how do we get through Christmas? The pain is unimaginable. Im trying so, so hard to think that my darling boy would hate me being so broken. I’m helping at a charity on Christmas day, I need to do something different. He loved Christmas and made such a fuss of me. I will miss that for ever. I hope he would be proud of me. Sending much love to you all. Please, please contact me if you need help. After all, i know the pain you are going through xxxx
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@Penny11 your Son wouldn’t want you to be hurting and kudos to you for the volunteer work, that is very commendable and I believe it will be cathartic for you.
I think for me that I will try to enjoy Xmas with my two other Sons as Thomas would want. Thomas loved Xmas, in fact he enjoyed every holiday. He always acted as if every present was the one thing he needed. If I had known that last Xmas was going to be my last with him I would have hugged him until he had me physically removed lol. The next day he went into hospital and I never got another hug. He never got to use those presents……man I hate life for taking him from us.
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I lost my son 25 th off august this year I will never be the same I feel your pain am heartbroken can’t explain the why I feel I hope your ok we will never be the same people 
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@Rolo12 I am so sorry that you’ve lost your Son, it’s a parents worst nightmare. The agony never ends for me, I’m not the woman I was before this happened. We’re all connected because of the awful pain we’re in, we are all trying to navigate the grief.
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I hope we can all find some sort of peace. I’m so scared that i will feel this weight of sadness for the rest of my life. How hard is that? As I’ve said before, if anyone needs to say anything, I’m here and will help. Xxx
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Penny11, that is nice you are helping at a charity on Christmas Day. I have donated to charity to help others not so fortunate, mind you none of us are fortunate going through this hell. It makes me feel better anyway. Day by day is all we can do. It’s 9 months today I lost my son and today the flashbacks of me doing CPR on him are awful, I knew it was too late and ask myself so many times why did you take those drugs, even though I fully realise it was one stupid mistake and addiction is an illness which some people just don’t understand and don’t have a clue the impact on a family it has. Xx
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I just want to be with him but i know that is selfish. I have another son but my Kevin was everything to me. I dont know how to get through this x
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My thoughts are with you all.There is nothing I can say really to make you feel better.I am a widow lost our only son last year.He was my life.I get up each day carry on go out etc but I think about him and my hubby too every minute of every day.I have them both in a little compartment inside my head and try my best with the rest of my thoughts to get through each day.God bless you all xx
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Another sleepless night I find nights so
Hard ,out with my sons there teenage children today it’s so bitter sweet they remind me so much off him and he should be with us my heart is broken 4 months on Christmas Day he will be gone x
Im hoping we all find the courage to get through Christmas. It’s devastating not to have our loved one. My heart is literally broken without him. Please try and be kind to yourselves, allow yourself to grieve. We still have all the love for them in our hearts and we should cherish that. Please, please, keep talking on here, i find it offers a kind of comfort xxx
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Penny11, this forum is my lifeline if I was honest. I went swimming today, saw a lady I haven’t seen since I lost my son in March, she said I haven’t seen you for ages, explained what happened…I didn’t cry and it was lovely to talk to her about him and she never asked what happened which was nice. Yep be kind to ourselves and always here for you and everyone else xx
Aw, that’s so lovely! Well done for not crying! So far I’ve cried every day since he died. You should be proud, every thing that happens like that is a victory!!! Xx
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Honestly, I wish we could all meet up for a massive group cry and hug. We are amazing people getting through this agony, never forget that! Xxxx
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Thank you, last week I was crying all the time, but cry over tiny things. Little steps we sometimes do which helps us I guess xx
To each and everyone one on this forum I wish you all a peaceful Christmas,as peaceful as it can be.
I miss my son so much and the second festive season without him seems far worse than the first.
We were in complete shock,denial and absolute pain that we just ghosted through the first but now the realisation coupled with the loss seems so very much worse.
I feel for all of us,it’s a pain like no other and only those on here understand the true agony of Christmas but I keep telling myself it’s just another day.
Love to you all.
Jayne xxx
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Christmas was one of my Sons favourite times, he would be so excited about every single gift. My other boys don’t do that, they don’t have his childlike happiness. I love them both dearly, don’t get me wrong but Thomas always loved Christmas and made a big thing of decorating his whole house.
I miss him so much and I’m sitting here at midnight crying because I will never see him again.
Its so very true that the pain is like no other and the constant realisation that we will never see our son again is unbearable.Even now the shock throughout my body when I was told my son had hours to live reoccurs its unreal.Mark and my late hubby had a strong faith which sadly I haven’t .But we all loved Christmas and to be without them doesnt get easier in fact as time passes it gets harder.I do try my best though for their sakes .Love and best wishes to you all in this sad club of ours xxxx
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Marg1, yep the pain is like no other pain I have ever experienced. I lost my son in March to a drugs related incident. He struggled addiction for 14 years, also as a family we struggled with his addiction as it has such a massive impact on everyone involved. I did everything I could, he was in such a good place as well, good job, own flat, just had a payrise, and one stupid mistake ruined my life forever. I still can’t get my head round it I will never see him again, all I have is lots of happy memories when he was in a good place. Our relationship was the best it had ever been which is one thing I am so thankful for. Be kind to ourselves at this difficult time of year xx
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Hi MJG yes we have been in touch before about our boys.My son was also a drug addict and like you and your family my late husband and myself went through it with him.But in spite of his issues he was a kind clever loving person.His support to me as our only child when his dad passed got me through.He got cancer and COPD and it was that that took him away from me.His addictions didnt define him as a person.I yearn for him and the love he had for me.So sad for you that when your son was getti g his life back on track that he should be taken away from you.Its only people like yourself that totally understand this empty unbearable feeling we have each and every day.God Bless you xxxx
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