I think we will always be overwhelmed by this loss, it’s always there just under my pretence that I’m a normal functioning person. Massive waves of grief and tears, but I try so hard to think that this is because I loved him so much and it’s totally normal to feel so devastated … I hope so much that there is something after we die, I need to see James and hug him again 
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I believe there is something else and we will be together with them again x
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I believe there may be something to,not only when my son died he said he had to go now to death . But when he was 4 years old ,in Canterbury cathedral he said I know the way out through the cloisters. When I question him after he did not know what cloisters were. All very stranger ,but Quite loverly.
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