Hi all,
I haven’t written on here for a while. I’m just really struggling and not sure where to turn or who to speak to about how I feel.
I’ve lost both parents, my dad died 14 years ago and my mum died in April. I was really struggling with how my mum died (it was traumatic) so I went to my GP and asked for help. I got put on medication to help me and referred to a talking therapy but I had to do a 6 week course online before speaking to a therapist. I did the 6 week course and then I got discharged from the talking therapy as they thought I was doing better and wouldn’t benefit from speaking to a therapist. Since this has happened I feel as though there’s no help for me. I’ve isolated myself from friends and family because I feel like a burden and I put an act on at work and pretend that I’m doing ok as I don’t know how to tell anyone that I’m not doing well at all.
I really miss my mum so much, I lived with her and was her carer as she was diagnosed with cancer and had mobility issues. I worked full time as well and had some great friends but since mum has gone I just don’t want to bother with them and I’ve got no interest in my job. All I ever do is sleep as much as I can so that I can escape the mental torture that I’m in.
There was so many plans my mum and I had, so many conversations still to have, so many hugs to give and now she’s gone I have no interest in the future. I feel as though I’m barely existing. If I have no parents then what’s the point? I have no one who really understands me and loves me like they did.
My mum and I were the best of friends, we had such a great relationship. I am so lonely and lost and all I want is my mum and dad.
How can I ever be happy again? How can I carry on my like this? There’s so many questions that I ask myself daily.
I’m so scared.
Hi @Shell9 ,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mum 6 weeks ago today and oh I miss her so much. Do you have one friend you can get in touch with and reach out to? X
I’m so sorry for your losses. 
Like you I’ve lost both my parents and can relate to so much of what you write. I lived with my dad and lost him almost a year ago. I honestly have no idea how we are to find happiness, I still have no good days, only bad or worse days.
It seems strange that they would discharge you from the talking therapy like that. After an online course? Could you talk to your GP about trying again, telling them you don’t feel better and do need someone to talk to?
Sending love and hugs. 
Hi @Shell9
I can understand how you’re feeling it’s so hard. I lost my Mum 4 months ago and we were the best of friends, I saw her so much and miss her so much and I too am struggling emotionally. Losing such a significant person in your life I do believe changes you forever. I just feel deeply sad inside all the time and am just doing things on automatic pilot.
What I would say to you is, not to let someone else tell you that they think you’re doing better and wouldn’t benefit from speaking to a therapist. I think you are the best judge of what you think may help you. I have had some counselling and personally I found it really helpful each week just knowing that I had somewhere to go and offload. I cried and talked all the time. I’m looking to get some more as the way I am I cry a lot. I do find it helpful to cry and release, don’t know how long it will go on for but just going with my own flow. What do you think might be helpful for you? You did say you had friends and I understand you may not want to bother with all of them but are there any of them that you feel would understand and be helpful for you. In my grief I have been selective (and still am) about who I want to be around. Sending a hug 
Your life is my life, you not alone! how could you be ? I’m alone too now in the same flat I once shared with mum and today I don’t feel like doing much. I was told about Cruise not sure if I used it or not. I think face to face is better to be honest. Not sure if GPs care ? it’s part of life, get on with it! that’s today’s world. No one really cares, but people like us do. You are not alone trust me.
Hello Keith? is a sad journey we are on. I went to see my GP after Mum passed on Dec 2022. My Dad passed 10 days ago. The Gp I saw back then sticks in my mind. He was really helpful. He told me he fell apart when his Dad died ( he is a DR and spent most of his career in A&E). I could see the tears in his eyes. He had a photo of his Dad on his desk in full Rugby attire. GPS are also human. They understand. Until I lost Mum I don’t think I truly understood grief and loss. How could we… Keep searching for support x
All I got was a phone number, Cruise! but I’m not that impressed with my doctor Anyway. I now think I could die and it would just be brushed under the rug. But that’s today’s world!
Hi Keith, I often feel the same but you would be missed by many I’m sure. Life seems so busy now and our parts feel minor - but to somebody you are the star…