Struggling with Time

I lost my Mum nearly 2 years ago and everyone has told me that time is a great healer, however my grief seems to be getting worse. I’m only a young man and I feel that I was robbed of memories and experiences that “normal”. The kids, the weddings all things that one aspires to that you want to share with those that raised you. I’m starting to forget how my mum looked prior to her illness. I have nightmares constantly and I break down quite alot. It’s hard as I don’t have a lot of people around me that have dealt with this and I find it very difficult.

Sam, I can feel for you, my Dad went when our two boys were very young and my mum wasn’t that bothered about grandchildren. The boys always want to know about their grandad and even now are fascinated by tales about him. Two years since she left, my I ask you to consider getting some help from a Counsellor either from here Sue Ryder or from Cruse, I know both have a waiting time and Cruse is phone calls but I think it may be useful for you. As you say that the people around you don’t know much about grief or death because we don’t talk about it, no matter what age, it’s a taboo subject but we should be more open and then when it happens to us, we have some idea of what to expect. You sound far to young to fight this alone and I know there are others on this site who have gone through the same kind of loss at a young age. Please talk and write about how you feel because both will help you. Just remember you are not alone. Blessings. S

Hi Sam, I am so sorry for your loss. @SusieM has already made some good suggestions to you, I am sorry that you never got many replies, that happens sometimes, please do feel free to write about yuor grief here, we do care.

So sorry for the loss of your Mum. It has been 3 years since the 1st of September since i lost my Mum,and 1 year the 30th of August since i lost my Step Dad. I just have to get through each day,and i suffer with very bad anxiety at times,an illness i have been battling for 8 years now,my Mum and Step Dad were there for me so much and really understood me. I have to carry on for my 14 year old son. here if you would like to talk,take care,Lucy,xxx

Time isn’t the healer, love is. Death isn’t the end because love lives on and is eternal. You will never be robbed of those memories because your mum will always be with you. She is inside of you. She is every breath you take and every thought you think. When you come to terms with the death part, i.e acceptance you will see her clearly and hear her loud and clear. You will smile at the very thought of her because she lives on in you and you will feel her love embracing you in all that you do or go through. The hardest part of grief is the acceptance and letting go but the deepest love, joy and blessing comes when you do. You will feel an inner peace you have never felt before and your mum will reach you without all the constraints and resistance grief brings and gets in the way of the amazing love you will one day feel and trust me you will feel that love like never before x