Just turned 50. Father to four , 24/21/14/13. All neuro diverse one actually diagnosed .
2017 lost my dad and went head long into helping my mum. She passed in 21. Then followed a 3!year court case for probate that did norm coke to an end until October 24. So, I had kept busy . When he came to an end , it’s like my who life has stopped , and I feel no one . No reason . No purpose , no connection with wife and kids, alone and very scared and anxious and very depressed . It may be that I had just kept fighting since dad then mum then the court case . I also lost the connection with my two older nasty brothers through this , so I lost all my family .
People say I’ve got kids and a wife , should help , but at the moment , it doesn’t . I feel like a needy scared child needing to know all is ok.
Juts before mum passed , I was diagnosed ASD and adhd, so my life had already been thrown into question in my mind . But this now is so scary .
Drsbhave out me in various anti depressants to try and help and anti anxiety , which I don’t want to take . I’ve been under crisis since the court case needed in October 24, but they were useless .
I had been out of work a bit before dad passed due to it all, and set up my own business whilst caring for mum so I was more available . That all went under during covid .
I was determined to get back to some form of work after my mum , but my mind has gone . I feel blank , cloudy , and incapable for some reason . I’m scared , as i need to be back in society working as i always have since 15 !! It’s all so foreign . I’m looking in a way to know this is the normal . I was very close to mum , she knew me as me , and always re assured any concerns
Hi
I thought I’d send you a reply to say I’m sorry you’re going through this tough time. I believe it’s normal. Some of the things you’ve said, I feel the same. I often search for comfort through doom scrolling! Never good! But Mel Robbins said that depression, upset, sadness, anxiety is the sign of a healthy mind in grief. It shows the care and love you have for that person and the loss you feel. So if you are feeling how you are then your mind is healthy and trying to rationalise something that can’t be rationalised!! It takes time to catch up so don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re grieving and that’s healthy.
I don’t have any answers really but I wanted to just say that you’re not alone with how you feel as I do feel similar but I do genuinely believe that anyone that has lost someone they love and feel safe around would feel the same. X