Struggling

Losing a sibling
1

I’m struggling with the loss of my sister, I feel so alone and the joy of life has disappeared

2

I’m so sorry to hear about your sister, @Ruby7. You are not alone. You might want to chat to @missmysister who recently posted this thread.

You may also find these resources helpful as you cope with your grief.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out.

Take care,
Seaneen

3

Oh Ruby, i am so sorry!! When did this happen? Did she have an illness? Talk it out here , it will help you work thru things. Was this your only sibling? Just remember, minute by minute, day by day, one foot in front of the other. Take care of yourself, too. Are you married? Do you have children? You can PM me any time dear.

4

I do have a husband and teenagers, my husband is supportive but doesn’t understand fully. It’s been 18 months and he’s my sister was very ill with cancer and she suffered terribly for nearly 8 years . She was 39 when she passed and that’s the hardest part she still had life to live. I just feel guilty in everthing I do. We were so close I miss everthing about her. Thankyou for reaching out and sorry that you’re also suffering a great loss. X

5

I’d like to know your story too, I’m pretty good listener if you need to reach out, supporting one another is essential in these awful times.

6

Your sister was YOUNG. That must have been difficult seeing her suffer for 8 years, wow. If your husband has not experienced the death of a loved one, he may not understand real well. I mean, im sure he loved your sister as a brother in law does. My brother in law was a nightmare but thats MY story. I guess your sister wasnt married? Im glad you have a caring husband and children who are old enough to understand your loss.
My niece had cancer (Hodgkins Lymphoma) in her lung and lymph nodes in the chest when she was 20. She has made it cancer free for 5 years now. That was my younger sister’s child. I just lost my older sister to alcoholic cirrhosis. It is my first family death in my adulthood. Ive seen plenty of death and dysfunctional families as a nurse. Those experiences dont really help much when its my own sister and dysfunctional family. Its extremely painful to have had experiences like these professionally and to feel like ive failed with my only family.

7

It’s really awful watching someone suffer yes as you start the grief process whilst there still alive unfortunately. Loosing someone due to an addiction is awful I’ve had family members (cousins ) pass due to alcohol also. Sorry that you’ve had to go through that, may your niece live a long healthy life, I’m sure she’s a a fighter 5 year is a good milestone to get too. My sister had a husband they were married 11 years but together since the were 18. I’m glad you reached out it great to have support from someone that is going through the same. X

8

You’ve definitely not failed with your family, we can only do so much, don’t beat yourself up over what is out of your control. I distanced my self from my family as I feel there is a missing link now and what was is no longer. It’s surprising what death causes in family’s fallouts need to happen sometimes. Just know you can only do your best and that is good enough. X

9

Guilt seems to be pretty common in the grief process…even when it doesnt make sense. I wonder what makes us feel like failures after the death of a loved one? Not everyone feels the same, of course, but ive read a fews posts, like, “i had been with her night and day but i had a dr appt i needed to go to and she died when i left.” Or, "i left him because of his drinking and within 2 weeks he had died. " i just want to hug the heck out of those 2 people who wrote these comments in this forum! :sob: i know that exact feeling and thats probably the hardest part or at least right up there with missing her. I didnt do enough; i didnt see her enough, love her enough, help her enough,etc etc. What makes us do that?

10

Survivors guilt is so real and it’s soul destroying. We all know we did our upmost best for our loved ones, sons things I read are heart breaking. I was with my sister when she passed but many loved ones feel guilt for not being there, nobody should feel guilty but as grief is such an erray ox emotions we all feel it someway or another. :broken_heart:.