My mum died 3 years ago and I feel like I have hit a wall. In the time that she died I fell in love with a woman but our relationship was rocky for all kinds of reasons. We broke up and are trying to be friends but the attraction is still really strong and I feel reliant on her emotionally. She is pulling away as it’s too confusing and I’m scared to face life on my own but also don’t think it would work if we got back together even though I love and miss her. I have no children and my sister has moved away and dad has a new partner so I’m feeling v alone. My fertility is waning so I am facing multiple losses and feel overwhelmed. I am also struggling to accept my same sex attraction and my friends and family don’t seem to fully understand. I’m not sure what the future holds and am struggling to regain a sense of safety and connection in the world. Feeling very anxious and need to heal and rebuild my life. Also, live in fear of hatred and rejection due to sexuality which is exhausting and makes it hard to feel safe at work and elsewhere.
Hi @RZT
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you can connect with other members who are living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
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Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Alex
Thanks Alex, I really appreciate your message.