struggling

Hello Everyone,
Im new to this so bare with me.

My names stacy im 31 live with my partner and two daughters 9 & 3.

I first lost my nan when i was 20, when i was 21 i had my daughter whos now 9 she was born with a lot of problems almost lost her and then at 22 i lost my beloved brother who was only 27, 3 years later lost my grandad and just two years ago i lost my other Nan.

Everyone thinks im strong just because i put a smiley face on everyday but i really dont feel strong and since the lockdown all i do is think of all those iuve lost and how i really wish i had them here to miss whilst being stuck on lockdown and hoping that when this lockdown is lifted that i could go see them and hug them and tell them how much ive missed them but i cant as they are not here :frowning:
im really struggling miss them all so much all i do is smile for my girls and try not to let them know deep down im so sad :frowning:

Anyone else feel like this since lock down began?

stacy

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Hi Stacy

It’s very hard I lost my dad and brother 4 years within each other 15 years ago .March this year I lost my husband of 36 years I talk about him all the time the pain is unbearable I have to tell friends and family I’m not ok they say your strong Kim but I’m not every day is a struggle you need to tell your partner friend family how you really feel it’s a nightmare grief. XX

Hi. Stacy. Welcome. Putting on a brave face is not easy, but we often feel we need to for others, especially children who have little understanding of what’s happened and are confused.
Multiple bereavements such as you have had can cut deep into our emotional well being. You may have been in grief for many years without realising it . The loss of your Nan two years ago may have opened old wounds. It happens. It reminds us of so much we would rather forget. But you can still love them, and in quiet moments tell them so. They are still with you and helping as best they can, None of them would want you miserable.
The deep down sadness will lift slowly given time. You will never forget, but the pain does ease. You have family to look after and the love you give them will be returned to you a hundred fold.
Take special care. We are always here for you. John.

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