Struggling

I lost my husband of 38years 3months ago, 7 weeks after loosing my mum. I am not in the best of health myself and am finding just about everything a struggle. We hadn’t had time to grieve for mum before I was having to try and cope with the loss of my hubby. I’m midway through having a full new kitchen fitted ( booked before any of this happened) so my house is a mess, garden too and just getting up, dressed and fed is hard enough. I just don’t know how I’m going to manage without him. I have 2 children, one of which was in ITU with covid themselves, one has their own business so is extremely busy, the other works away, so isn’t around often. I have lots of friends and my husbands family who all say ‘if you need anything’, but I find it hard asking as we have always managed ourself. I feel totally lost, scared and worried for the future.

Dear Jane16

I am sorry for the loss of both your mum and your husband. I too was married 38 years when I lost my husband in a road traffic accident. It is a difficult journey we now find ourselves on. Not one for me personally I ever expected or wanted and I struggle most days. I also have two adult children and two grandsons, one who was born after the death of my husband - his arrival was bittersweet and brought both joy and great sadness.

We were also having building work approaching completion when my husband died. As the remaining jobs were due to be completed by my husband I have been able to just ‘park’ the outstanding jobs until I am ready to try and sort out myself. To be honest I can only just get out of bed and some days I cannot even manage that.

I would take all support offered so that you can focus on yourself and the many different pieces of paperwork you may find yourself faced with.

People on this site can relate to your grief and will support wherever possible.

Take care.

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