Lost a close friend a week ago. The funeral was Friday. I’m just absolutely low, in shock. I don’t know what to do? The image that is stuck in my head is her coffin. I don’t know how she can just be gone… any help/advice ?

Hi and I am so sorry to hear of your loss of a good friend.
I lost my wife just over 7 weeks ago, who was my perfect soul mate and best friend after a very short battle with cancer. Like you, the sudden loss is so hard to believe.
I was with her during the final couple of days and saw how weak she was at the end, but I try not to let how she was at the end spoil my memories of the many years we spent winding each other up, the laughs we shared and even how she would sometimes wake up with morning breath! lol.
I know these are just words, but the thoughts you have of your friend in the coffin should not over shadow the good times that you obviously shared together.
Although i am not really a spiritual person, I am trying to carry on with her in my heart and trying to make her proud of me every day. The feelings I have for her goes far beyond the physical and I take more joy from our memories we shared than the grief of how she was in body when she passed.
I know these are just words and I know nothing I say can take that pain away, and I don’t know if I am making much sense.

1 Like

I am so sorry for your loss
Like Chris has said try and not think of that awful day
But all the happy memories you have of your dear friend
You were lucky to have someone that close some people never experience that
Why don’t you write in a journal
All your thoughts ,how you feel ,that’s what I did when my husband died
It did help me as I was so angry at the world still am !!

Or a scrapbook of pictures of both of you places and things that you did together
There is no answer on how to cope with grief
That’s why I joined this group I wanted someone to say do this and all the pain goes away
But unfortunately it’s not that easy
It’s been 3 years this month since he died I get good days when I can smile but I still get days when I just don’t want to get out of bed
So I have those bad days then put on my brave face and carry on with life the best that I can
As my life will never be the same without him
He loved me so much and I’m just happy he is not here going through this pain
So when your feeling down come on this site moan talk
There will always be someone here to comfort you
Take care

1 Like


Thank you both so much for your replies , it means a lot that there is someone listening. She passed away from Cancer, and even though she’d been diagnosed a year ago. She’d had treatment and it seemed to be at bay. She text me a month ago to say it was back and that she was going to start chemo… and then last week Monday I saw on Facebook that she’d passed away. I think that’s part of how shocked I am-the fact that I just saw it on Facebook… I actually wrote a poem about her/to her last night , and it helped me. Thank you, writing my feelings has helped. A scrap book is a good idea too, thank you .
I hope you are doing ok xxx

What an awful way to find out about your friend
But she hasn’t suffered that’s the only positive from this sad situation
You should put your poem in your scrapbook
Take care