I lost my mum 8 months ago and it has been awful. I have no idea what to do without her. Although we used to fight a lot she was always the person I went to with anything. She was my favourite person and I never got the chance to say goodbye to her. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it because mentioning her upsets my siblings and my friends just pretend I’m fine so they don’t need to talk to me about it. Everyone just acts like nothing happened while I have to remember every day that she’s gone and she’s never coming back. It all feels so lonely. Just wish it didn’t hurt as much after this long.
Hi, I am pleased you found this site because everyone on here knows what you are going through and friends and extended family always seem to believe we have ‘got over it’ just like having a cold or tummy bug. We all know it’s not like that and these feelings do not just disappear but stay with us. Your description of your feelings and the relationship with your mum also describes my relationship with my mum. It’s always tough when we loss our mums who have been there for us and it does take time to come to terms with that loss. Have you considered having a few sessions with a counsellor where you can talk about your mum in a safe environment, it may help. Sue Ryder have a counselling and so do Cruse. Reading others post who have lost their mums may also help and keep posting or just writing down how you feel. It is a case of what works best for you, in your circumstances. Keep safe S xx
Hi, so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum at a similar time and I too am still struggling. Although the nature of my relationship sounds different. I feel constantly exhausted by all the different feelings which still arise. It certainly doesn’t just disappear after a couple of months. Everyone on here can relate and understand it takes time. I have no magic answers, but just be kind to yourself, use this forum as a sounding board and know you are not alone, we are all on our own journeys together x
I also lost my Mum 8 months ago. Will be 9 months the day before my daughter’s birthday. I’m feeling exactly like you’re just lost. We also used to fight alot but I loved her so much and we had such a strong bond. We never had a funeral because of covid so also feel like never got to say goodbye. Don’t talk to anyone either, my husband expects me to just get on with life and be the strong Mum I used to be to my 2 but I feel like that loving side of me died with Mum. Sorry my message isn’t offering you much support just like minded, I’ve been told the longer time goes in a way it’s harder because it’s more time without them. Always here as a listening ear though this is my first time posting/replying only just joined today as struggling and not sure how to live.
I think we are all just mudderling along. I’m just trying to take it day by day and keep optimistic that it will ease one day. I did keep alot of it in, but now I am open about my struggles 8 months on. I will try anything if it helps. I write about her, good and bad. I get angry at her. I make myself go and exercise even though everything inside is screaming it dosnt want to. I also make myself go out to things I don’t feel like because e sometimes I then forget about it in the company of others. Its exhausting. Its hard and one of the hardest things is how unsettled its made me feel. Got to tell yourself it’s got to be one if not the hardest thing to go through in your life, so be kind and patient with yourself. X
That’s all we really can do isn’t it, take it day by day. Some days are easier than others and writing about her sounds like a nice idea. Xx
I’m struggling so much I lost my daughter 7 weeks ago
Hi, I am very sorry for your loss. Its so early on for you. It must feel so raw. I’m not sure I have the right words for you but share what you want to on here, and you will find people to listen to you and support you as we best can. We all have experianced the pain of loss and the array of emotions that go with that x
I’m feeling quilty about eating at the moment as don’t feel I should be as my daughter isn’t here anymore I can’t feel the point .
I am so sorry to hear the pain your experiencing. The loss of a child… I can’t imagine as a Mum to 2 myself. But please don’t punish yourself by not eating, take care of yourself and know we are all here for you as a listening ear. Xx
I just feel that way I think I need to get help xso going to call doctors since my daughter went I’ve lost 1/2 stone
And you have every right to feel the way you need to feel huni, I think calling the doctors is a good idea. Loosing a child isn’t the natural order and no parent should have to feel that pain. But I’m sure your daughter would want the very best for you so be kind to yourself and keep posting on here, we’re all here for you. Xx
Nothing can prepare you for losing a loved one, the intense pain you feel, when you wake up each morning knowing it’s not a dream that it really happened, I try to motivate myself to do things but it’s hard, the guilt is there, why am I doing this? Why am I eating that? Grieving has a real impact on your body the feeling of exhaustion all the time I lost my mum about 7 weeks ago and I miss her so much I think you definitely lose apart of yourself when you lose them, I know we should try to carry on but it’s so hard , I feel all your pains on here, life is so cruel sometimes I do hope we can help each other along this dark journey, be kind to yourselves
Yes Lynn the pain is awful .I have my daughters hair under my pillow,her favourite blanket .I’m struggling so much .The doctor has given me drinks to supplement my food and now taking multiple vitamins .You lost your mum the same time I lost my daughter .She gained her wings on 16th july
I’m waiting for counselling with cruse, before I lost my mum I considered myself to be a strong, independent person but now I feel so lost, almost vulnerable at times, its almost like your living in a fog and don’t know how to get out, mum passed on 10 July I cared for her for the last 6 weeks at home so she was with dad and her family, I wish I felt her presence sometimes or dreamt about her but I’ve not had anything really & lifes so hard without them isn’t it I feel so for your loss I have the support of my daughters and other family members but I Honestly feel at times so alone, it’s so comforting to share our stories on here to know we aren’t alone, you are in my thoughts
My daughter was my everything. We did loads together and she suffered mental health for 12 years.I tried my hardest
I’m sure you did everything you possibly could for her, I still feel pangs of guilt, could I have done more?, did I miss something with mums health? I feel angry that she went so quickly, it’s just so much torture to carry along, I can’t fully accept yet that shes gone, going to the cemetery is just all so surreal,
I have my daughter here. .I can talk to her ,carry her about with me .I take her to bed so she is near me X If people don’t like it they can do one .
You do what brings you comfort, I have one of mums nighties with me at night its almost like a comfort blanket, j too speak to her & tell her I miss and love her, I don’t worry what anyone else thinks, they aren’t going through the pain we are feeling, so like you say sod um x